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New Year, New Laws
On the front page of the Press-Republican on January 1, 2006, a headline grabbed my attention. "New Year, New Laws" in bold print was followed by "Dozens of new rules begin today." Great, I thought! I'd been hoping we'd have some new laws in the upcoming year. As I read the story I realized that my kind of laws weren't what the lawmakers in Albany had in mind. The new laws had to do with 13-year-olds riding a watercraft alone, and another had to do with tax rates, something I've never understood, and another law had to do with the activities of lobbyists. Important stuff, I suppose, but not what I see as great strides for the making of a better New York, a better 2006, a better world!
Maybe Assemblyman Ortloff can take my list with him the next time he journeys to Albany. I am thinking that every kid should be forced to watch reruns of "The Lawrence Welk Show" or, at least, "The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour." I think every kid should be forced to eat dinner with the family at least once a week. And every kid should be forced to stay at the dinner table to hear Dad's stories of when he was a high school sports star, even though they've already heard each story ten times. I think every family should go for a car ride once week, preferably on Sunday afternoon or early evening (no MP3, no laptop, no cellphones allowed). I think every kid should be forced to kiss their parents goodnight before they get in bed.
I think it would be a better Plattsburgh if the city shut down one street each Friday night in the summer, hired a DJ, and hosted a block party (with music by Chubby Checker, Ricky Nelson and the Beatles). And as for music, as much as I have recently come to enjoy the music of John Mayer, Jack Johnson, Maroon5 and Lifehouse, I think every kid should be forced to listen to Bobby Vinton sing "Roses Are Red" or Ronnie Dove sing "Kiss Away" or Patsy Cline sing "I Fall to Pieces" so they know what a romantic song sounds like.
I think every kid should have a chore to do at home, like take out the garbage or wash dishes or vacuum the living room floor. I think each kid should get a bag of marbles on their eighth birthday to learn the thrill of playing for "one-zies" or "two-zies" and to learn the heartbreak of losing a "pucker." I think every kid should be forced to eat shredded wheat at least once a month (sugar and warm milk required). And every kid should be forced to bait a hook and drop a line in the Saranac River at least once before the age of 50. I think Plattsburgh and the world would be better if every kid were forced to wear a homemade Halloween costume at least one October 31st.
Maybe I'm just an old "softie," as one blog comment called me, but I think these laws would be important laws. These laws would set some of us back on the right path, get us focused on what truly matters. Maybe a reader has a law they'd like to see passed. I'd be interested! Let's give Assemblyman Ortloff a briefcase full of ideas to bring to the State Legislature in 2006.
Comments
...and every 13 year old should be forced make a commercial!!!
The world is a different place today and our children, including my own, are growing up with a whole different degree of innocence and, perhaps, a slightly unrealistic level of expectations. You have seen first hand as a parent and educator the many changes in our educational requirements that have restrained some of the finest educators and practices in our school systems. As our children grow, they will learn “family values and traditions” from their parent’s generation and their grandparent’s generation. So rest assured, Foxy, that there are still a great number of PHS and local alumni out there who support and practice many of the fine family and societal practices that you mentioned.
I read somewhere that eating instant mashed potatoes may cause hair loss. And I see you keep mentioning something about a ponytail. Therefore, I believe you should shave your head (it’s so much more in style than a pony tail) and enjoy your mashed potatoes!
Foxy, thanks for all the great laughs and memories. And don't forget "Rocket" in the nickname book. He was a great hockey player!
(Foxy's note: Kern was a student in my English class way back when. One of his assignments was to write and act in a tv commercial. Kern is now sergeant with the New York State Police.)
Posted by: Kern | January 12, 2006 10:12 AM
Foxy for Mayor!!! Let's start the cyber-buzz.
Posted by: Samesie | January 4, 2006 4:38 PM
oh.. and I'm glad you never told Mom any of this because I'd be very angry with you!
(Foxy's note: Kelsey is my niece, a student at NCCS. Guess she doesn't agree with all of my new laws!)
Posted by: Kelsey | January 3, 2006 10:17 PM
Uncle Foxy... you have a column in the paper? When did this happen? whyyyy didn't you tell me? miss you!
(Foxy's note: Kelsey is my niece, living in Rouses Point. She is a high-honors student at NCCS, and a huge Mets fan!)
Posted by: Kelsey | January 3, 2006 10:13 PM
Foxy
The world would be much better off if everyone played in a band, and fishing was mandatory.
Posted by: Fishman | January 3, 2006 9:16 PM
Foxy, You were one of my High school teachers that I greatly respected. My comment on New Year-New Laws is, have you thought of running for Mayor of Plattsburgh after Dan leaves? Please give it some thought. We all want to keep Plattsburgh a great community, and with your ideas, this could happen.
Posted by: Angela (Jennette) Reyor | January 3, 2006 3:52 PM
I think kids should give their parents breakfast in bed every sunday and then clean the house.
Posted by: ann | January 3, 2006 3:48 PM
fox-i feel every child of what ever age should have to take a course in relationships, preferably read "how to win friends & influence people" in high school and take a quality parenting course. now that would be progress!
Posted by: Darlene J. Pavone | January 3, 2006 12:22 PM
Interesting comment about kids watching the old tv shows. I have a 10 yr old who's favorites include Green Acres, Match Game and Welcome Back Kotter. How about a future entry on some of your past experiences and tips on collecting big league autographs.
Posted by: Rick | January 3, 2006 10:15 AM
How about mandating schools to teach board games as a means of communication, and requiring all couples to list at least one on their wedding directories?
Posted by: W | January 3, 2006 7:28 AM