Search
Warning!
I try to live my life safely, especially now that I'm older and retired. I hope my retirement lasts 30 years, or even more! To help ensure that, before I use new products I carefully read the labeling. It's made me so much more aware of the many dangers surrounding me.
For example, I have always loved these hard candies called Creme Savers. Did you know they come equipped with a warning? "SAFETY WARNING: HARD CANDY CAN BE SLIPPERY AND CAUSE CHOKING - ESPECIALLY IN CHILDREN." Do they think I didn't realize that? Is that warning there in case I do choke on one and die, they can tell my family, "We warned him!"?
That was the warning on the strawberry flavored ones. Recently Creme Savers introduced a new flavor, butter toffee. The warning there is more succinct: "SAFETY WARNING: HARD CANDY CAN CAUSE CHOKING." Ah, let's not worry about the kids this time. Let's leave "children" out of our new warning.
It's not just choking candy that issues warnings. My can of shaving cream looks harmless enough, until you read its warning: "CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE" (hey, I've been under pressure plenty of times, like remembering my wife's birthday or trying to get good grades back in college) - "DO NOT PUNCTURE OR INCINERATE. DO NOT STORE AT TEMPERATURE ABOVE 120 DEGREES F." Good thing they told me! I was planning on keeping my shaving cream in the oven.
I bought a can of peanuts for my Super Bowl party next weekend. Of course, that has a warning: "MAY CONTAIN NUT TRACES." What, in a can of peanuts there might be nut traces? What can they be thinking? And last week I cooked up a great batch of fresh Lake Champlain perch. Mmmm, fried perch! Good thing I noticed the warning on the bottle of cooking oil: "DO NOT POUR HOT OIL BACK INTO THIS PLASTIC CONTAINER." Just basic science here, folks! Also, don't put your shaving cream can into the hot oil you used for cooking perch.
Some friends suggested recently that instead of cooking with butter or oil I'd be better to just spray the pan with Pam, this "all-natural no-sticking spray." Obviously my friends never read the 13 WARNINGS on the can! The most curious one was "Avoid spraying in eyes." Who do they think buys their products? Sounds like a handy weapon for muggers. "I couldn't do anything, officer. He got me with his Pam!"
Well, I'm sure you see my point. We live in a warning-filled environment. But I noticed that one of the more dangerous items in my kitchen had no warning. My box of toothpicks, which could be used for stabbing and maiming, has no warning whatsover. Neither does my jar of mayonnaise, and can you imagine how dangerous that would be if spread all over the kitchen floor?
Who writes these warnings? Someone with a full-time paying job? Who decides what products get warnings and which ones are so safe they don't merit a warning? I'd like some answers!
Oh, one last warning: DAILY READING OF THIS BLOG CAN CAUSE ONE TO COUNTER-BLOG UNCONTROLLABLY FOR MONTHS. Just ask "The Carver" and "W" and "Bullet" and "Tom-A-Hawk."
Comments
Hey Foxy - My mom, Marilyn, would just love to read your warning label article.
Not too long ago my mother, Marilyn was upset that her friend Tina told her not to give her little girl a lolly pop. Since there are no warnings on the lolly pops that Marilyn gives the little girl and that Marilyn sits for the little girl at her house (no sign up outside her house saying beware the unusual lives here) Marilyn was highly argumentative. Of course, in attempt to calm her down, I explained to her she could be sued if she didn't put a label on her lolly pops.
Posted by: daisy dawn | March 13, 2006 4:17 PM
I never had you as a teacher. I bet I would have had alot of fun if I did. On a few of my video games it says "warning, gameplay may change when online" - I wonder if it's because you play against other people?
Posted by: Mike Seeber | February 22, 2006 10:18 PM
...and while on the subject of warnings. How about the disclaimers (warnings) on the pharmaceutical advertisements: If you use our product you may experience everything from headaches and nausea to hair loss and erectile (can I say that in a blog?) dysfunction!
Posted by: Kern | February 3, 2006 9:27 AM
Thank you Foxy! With my husband out to sea (he's Navy) and the days rather long, I needed a good laugh. You've gotta wonder who these warnings are put there for, you'd think it's all basic common sense...then again, in my travels, I've come across some people that can make you wonder!! by the way, I'm heartbroken that you retired. With all the years I spent in school, you are still my most memorable and favorite teacher.
Posted by: Tiffany LeClair | February 2, 2006 1:55 PM
Hey Foxy,
I was starting to get a pretty big head with your accolades there but, boy, did the "Tom-A-Hawk" come through with some great challenges. He's a pretty sharp cookie. Must be from the "hill", what do you think? Also, it's great to see those blasts from the past. The Recore twins, John and Jim, with big brother Hal and younger brother Keith surely must have burned some twine at St. Joe's in Dannemora. How about all those Kowalowski's in Lyon Mt., Tommy, Tony, Jimmy and Charlie and if Peter hadn't gone over to Hockey at St. John's, who knows how many points that family scored (Plus their Dad Johnny's) WOW! What was that about a warning I saw somewhere?????????????????
Posted by: Bullet | January 31, 2006 4:42 PM
Foxy, I agree with you. Some of those warnings are rather funny. The truth be it, someone has probably sued the company for some reason or another related to the warning on the label. Think about it this way, if cigarettes were discovered today, they would be illegal or banned from being made because of the warning on its packaging.
Posted by: Jay Y. | January 31, 2006 12:34 PM
Foxy, just read the blog for today. Looked at a box of "jelly Belly" jelly beans, and under the ingredients in fine print it says "manufactured in a plant that processes peanuts". Just when you thought it was safe to have a non-peanut jelly bean....
Posted by: Chris Heckard | January 31, 2006 8:23 AM
Hey, Bullett, W, and The Carver; Is the Fox giving us a shot or warning us here? Maybe we'll have to sneak into his house and take all the tags off his pillows!
Posted by: Tom-A-Hawk | January 31, 2006 7:42 AM
Hey! You brought up a lot of warnings that I never even thought would have warnings. The nut warning was funny though,"MAY CONTAIN NUT TRACES." Well duh people its a can of nuts! Just don't choke on those Cream Savers,Foxy!
~Bri
Posted by: Bri | January 31, 2006 6:38 AM