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Hookups, Hang Outs and Dates
I never thought I'd even care about this topic. But life moves on, people change and recently I found myself discussing "the dating game" with a group of friends. I don't mean the Chuck Woolery-hosted old tv show "The Dating Game." I mean, the meaning of the word "date" in the year 2006.
You can be the judge. Recently a longtime female friend and I ran into each other at a local tavern. We talked about our marital status, or lack thereof, and we agreed that sometimes it's difficult or uncomfortable to attend events alone. For example, when a single person is invited to a wedding reception it is certain that most of the seating arrangements will be by couples.
Or it's not so much fun to go out to eat at a restaurant and ask for "a table for one, please." So, we tend to order take out or make the most of those great Banquet or Swanson Frozen Dinners that in reality look nothing like the picture on the cardboard container they come in.
Anyway, recently I called this female friend and asked if she wanted to meet me for drinks and conversation at our favorite pub. She agreed. As we talked that evening, surrounded by patrons younger than we are, the topic of dating came up. I asked her if she thought that we were on a date right at that moment.
After all, I had not picked her up at her house. But it was pre-arranged and the time of meeting was pre-arranged as well. And we did sit next to each other for the entire evening. Were we on a date?
We brought some of the younger crowd into the discussion. A young lady who hails from Saranac said, "A date doesn't really exist anymore. It's hookups ... downtown."
She added that today's hookups "involve alcoholic beverages and meeting in a bar."
I found this hard to believe. In high school and college we met girls and went on dates. Like to the movies, or to a concert or out to dinner. We called it a date if we picked the girl up at her house and drove to Lake Placid for walking and talking and window shopping. We went on dates, and other people would say that Foxy and she are dating.
It all seemed pretty clear back then. But I guess the word "date" has lost its meaning. Some of my younger friends have called me on the phone and asked if they can come over to my house and "hang out." That's a new term too.
Back in the 1960s "hanging out" meant that your shirt was untucked or even something worse was wrong. Now "hanging out" seems to mean sitting around talking, watching television, playing video games and listening to music. I've been "hanging out" a lot lately.
It's all just very confusing. And the "40-ish and over" crowd always feels a need to label things. We need to know if it's a date or not a date. We just need to know.
The college guy from Moriah, though, was very clear when I asked him if he ever "dates." He looked at me and said, "Well, that depends. I need to know -- how far did I get?"
If that's the current meaning of "date," and if "hookups" involve alcohol and bars, just put me down for "hanging out." Maybe I'll be "hanging out" next week with someone.
Comments
Jimmy Carr is an expert in many areas which include seat locations, keen observations, and friendly relationships....What a great guy!
Posted by: The Donald | December 18, 2006 10:51 PM
Fox, it all depends on how far you get after the food is eaten!
Posted by: Bryan Benway | December 18, 2006 4:45 PM
Then there is "Date-night". This occurs after being married for many, many years, having kids, and realizing that you still love your significant-other more than life itself. It comes as a result of the irrepressible need do something different and exciting!
“Date-night” is usually scheduled weeks in advance on the calendar or Blackberry on an evening when there is no other family conflict, such as meetings, sports or school events. It is also very dependent on the availability of the local babysitter or grandparent. It can occur on ANY night of the week and should most often incorporate a meal that does not come with a placemat and crayons. The neat thing about “Date-night” is that you are always guaranteed to “hook-up”!
(Foxy's note: Yes, Kern, that's for snapping us back into reality! Love your comment about "placemat and crayons.")
Posted by: Kern | December 18, 2006 11:33 AM
Foxy, I think Jim Carr has made a couple of keen observations at Meron's ! He brings up a couple of fine points about the $100 seats.
Posted by: Long John Silver | December 17, 2006 3:29 PM
Hi Foxy; I read about the killing of Dave Donivan and his wife last year! Dave was a fine man who served the city as a policeman for many years! I knew Dave as he was a local outstanding Golden Gloves Boxer! I was in his boat forty years ago and we got stuck on the lake during a severe thunder storm! We both didn't think we would make it back to shore! I bailed the water out of the boat as fast as I could and he did a remarkable job in keeping the boat afloat! We had to crash into the ferry dock on cumberland head! Shaken, cold and tired we shook hands and knew we were lucky - God was with us that scary summer day! Nobody would have messed with a young Dave Donivan! Lenny
Posted by: lenny smallacombe | December 17, 2006 8:32 AM
Well, Foxy,
Here's my spin on "dating":
1. If you see a lady in a bar or elsewhere and sit together, it's a SIGHTING
2. If you call a lady to have a drink and she drives herself, it's a MEETING.
3. If you pick her up and drive her to your destination, it's a DATE
4. If, like me, you marry everyone you date, it's a WILD WOMAN!
Hey, I'm being tongue in cheek ... but, I think you may actually be a shy guy when it comes to the ladies. Besides, women like guys who have a sense of humor and a keen intellect like you.
I wish you the best in 2007. You'll do just fine! This kid knows!!!
Lynda
Posted by: Lynda (Bouyea) Bevins | December 17, 2006 2:29 AM
Skip, I love the "word" oxymoronic - I've run into a lot of "that" lately!
Posted by: diane | December 16, 2006 10:08 PM
Foxy,
I have been reading your blog for some time now and it's very unique. If you have any problems finding "the one" come to NYC on me and you will not leave unhappy. Plattsburgh is tapped out with talent. Expand your horizons- take the show on the road.
(Foxy's note: Thanks for the great offer, Pablo. I've always been a Plattsburgh boy. I'm not sure if those big city women are ready for "the Fox."
Posted by: Pablo | December 16, 2006 6:08 PM
Foxy, you are so right that the method of "dating" has changed in the last few years. As males we were trained for rejection, " I'm sorry I'm busy doing my hair a week from next Friday, or I'm in traning for the womens checker team". Now girls ask guys out.....
Having been rejected so many times in the past I have decided to perfect the rejection process so I would not hurt any ladies feelings. After many years I now have the process down pat. All I need is some nice lady to ask me on a date so I can see if it works.
Foxy I notice alot of your posts end with meeting in a good seat at Merion's ...... is there a double meaning to that?????
Posted by: Jim Carr | December 16, 2006 12:32 PM
Foxy,
Being a single has a lot of attributes (you can do your own THING without any repercussions and a host of other things); however, there are many drawbacks,
A single person is not asked to share dinner with couples or families too often. It seems going out to dinner is a couples thing ; perhaps that's why dinner service packages are for 4 or eight or any even number, Tables have four sides rather than 3 or 5. It's the odd man out . You wouldn't want to be the thirteenth guest at a party.
I rarely go out to dinner by myself but rather eat a hardy lunch accompanied by the NY Post.
Going to a restaurant and telling the hostess you are a party of one is oxymoronic.
Even in golf, you may have a foursome or a twosome, but it is kinda boring to be the lonesome.
Try going on a cruise. It is very difficult to get accommodations for one.
The whole world seems to rotate on couples and the single person is trying to disrupt the entire balance.
Posted by: skip zatonski | December 16, 2006 5:47 AM
Dianne- The show that Chuck hosted in 1997 was called "The New Dating Game" and was not produced by Chuck Barris as he was well into retirement by then. At least retirement from producing game shows, nobody knows for sure if he was still working for the CIA in 1997 as a paid killer. :)
Posted by: Rick K | December 15, 2006 10:25 PM
Dating rules have changed:
1. If you say to someone "do you want to sleep with me" it does not mean that they will think you are offering them a stable for the night because they appear tired.
2. Want to see "my minature collection" will probably not get them excited either.
3. Never say, as you point to your bed "no one has slept in this bed but my sister". By the time you explain that you live alone and have a sister who visits once in awhile your potential guest will be out the window.
4. "Want to go to the drive-in" will probably get some odd looks as well. Chances are your date will have assumed you have gone to the ATM before picking her up.
5. Challenging your date to name words that rhyme with "iagra" will probably not be a good idea either.
6. Playing spin the bottle with the cialis bottle is not a good party game .
Posted by: rubble | December 15, 2006 8:19 PM
Rick K - You're right... and you're wrong. Jim Lange was the original host of The Dating Game, but then it went into syndication and several others were hosts, including Chuck Woolery! He replaced Bob Sherwood as host in 1997.
No, I'm not that big a Chuck Woolery or Dating Game nut that I knew that without Googling it, but I thought he had hosted both games shows so I just had to find out.
Dianne in Austin
(Foxy's note: Alright, Dianne! Thanks for coming in from the bullpen and saving the Fox!)
Posted by: Dianne Scott | December 15, 2006 6:21 PM
Paul, coming from I guy with 3 daughters... they definitely still get grilled .. although it seems now they hang out in gangs, so they can cover up who likes who.. so now I interview them in groups!
open to suggestions??? if he's got so much free time maybe Foxy could do the interviews and then give me a break down... could be a new money maker for "fox on the run"
(Foxy's note: Carver, you might have a great idea. Reality tv is the hot thing right now. Let's find a good seat at Meron's real soon to discuss this.)
Posted by: the carver | December 15, 2006 5:49 PM
Foxy, Chuck Woolery hosted a show called Love Connection. The Dating Game was a Chuck Barris Productions show that was hosted by Jim Lange back in the 1970's. Love Connection aired in the 80's.
(Foxy's note: Good correction, Rick K. Thanks!)
Posted by: Rick K | December 15, 2006 3:42 PM
Foxy, good topic and I have a couple other observations on this.
If you "hang out" or "hookup" with a certain person over an extended period of time, the two of you then become an "item"!
I wonder if the gals still get "pinned" in college with their boy friends Frat pin?
I wonder if guys still get "grilled" by their girl friend's father prior to going out on "dates"? (that's probably really "old school"!)
I had two boys and they really didn't "share" their
endeavors with the "old man"!
(Foxy's note: Some good observations, Paul. Thanks!)
Posted by: Paul Shirley (Class of 1963 - PHS) | December 15, 2006 3:24 PM