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Things I Can Do Without
About a month ago an article by Marilyn vos Savant in PARADE magazine caught my attention. It was titled "The Most Unwanted Inventions," and it listed readers' responses to items they would most like to un-invent.
Surely there are many things that really serve no useful purpose, things that the world might be better without. The top choice was high heels. That wouldn't be my top choice. I mean, I haven't worn high heels since I dressed like an old lady on Halloween when I was ten.
Among the other items listed in the article were leaf-blowers, video games and neckties. I would never buy a leaf-blower, but I have seen people use them to blow all their leaves into neat piles by the curb or into their neighbor's yard. I don't play video games, although I did at one time enjoy playing the trivia game You Don't Know Jack!
And ties I wore most of my life, and I have a tie collection of well over a hundred that I'll be selling on eBay this summer.
I was surprised that my one most unwanted item wasn't on the list. The one invention that absolutely drives me crazy is my little automatic door locker for my car. I mean, I use it when I get out of my car to lock my Pontiac, and I use it when I get close to my car to unlock the doors, but why was this invented? Was putting the key in the lock deemed too difficult a task? One of the first things I learned as a young driver was how to get in the car in the first place!
The most ridiculous button on that little black contraption on my keychain is the trunk button. Do I really need help opening the trunk of my car? Do I have to tell you how many times I walked away from my car, pushed my keys into my pocket, and returned later to find my trunk wide open?
That little trunk button is more trouble than it's worth. I'm now in the habit of turning around and checking to make sure I haven't inadvertantly opened my trunk when I walk away from my car.
And is there a button on there to close the trunk? Of course not! So, after you've parked your car and walked 200 feet away and you're almost in WalMart, you have to walk back to manually close your trunk.
Let's face it -- some inventions, like garbage disposals and microwaves and computers, really do make life easier. But other inventions make me wonder about their value. Like those sneakers for kids that light up when they walk. With every step their feet flash like lights on a Christmas tree.
Or the new invention my friend Tony has that allows him to play his favorite songs on my car radio. Aren't my CDs good enough? Don't I get enough AM and FM stations to keep him amused? I mean, is there really a need for something like that?
I can guarantee you that you'll never see Foxy Gagnon in a store buying some machine so I can play my favorite songs on your car radio. I can guarantee that you won't see me walking into a local gym with my sneakers lighting up. And it's a lifetime guarantee you won't see me wearing high heels, regardless of what the special occasion is!
Comments
We discussed this and agreed that the key remote is a design flaw. I have experienced no problems with mine; it is almost impossible to hit my trunk and panic button by accident. I still disagree with it being a terrible invention. I find it very convenient.
I do have a story about the trunk button though. While on my normal break between classes last spring semester, I would pick up my "friend" from school and hangout for a bit. She found it very humorous to hit my trunk button while in her house and not to let me know. I can't tell you how many times I would be traveling up Route 9 and look back to see my trunk waving behind me. Maybe you're right, they should remove that button!
(Foxy's note: Ah, yes, another example of its worthlessness!)
Posted by: Mark T. | April 10, 2007 2:30 AM
OK - I've had time to think about this and realize that I will never be a nay sayer regarding new inventions. I was a legal secretary when the FAX machine starting popping up. I was irate - I thought it was the stupidest thing ever and would only create chaos in the office. It did not take me long to appreciate its value and realize there's always room for improvement. The battery-powered pepper grinder is my latest favorite - I'm sure my forefathers and mothers would view it as something to "sneeze" at - I crack myself up too!
(Foxy's note: Your comment was worth the wait!)
Posted by: miss d | April 9, 2007 7:38 PM
Foxy, here's a story about remote door openers that happened to my cousin. He and his wife were in Myrtle Beach and wanted to go to a show and see "Alabama". They hadnt purchased tickets before hand and were hoping to be able to get them at the door....they parked their car, locked it with their remote, went into the theater, and found that the show was sold out. They went back to the parking lot, and found that their car had been broken into and his wife's pocketbook was stolen...... They called the cops, and the cops told them that it was a common occurance.......Crooks drive thru the parking lots and click their remotes, and find a car that opens. Be careful about remotes !!!
(Foxy's note: Aha! There you go, Long John Silver! Perfect example. And, congratulations! You are the 1700th comment at On the Sly. You don't win anything, though! Maybe I'll give a bucket of wings to the 2000th!)
Posted by: Long John Silver | April 9, 2007 4:55 PM
Pantyhose ... man's worst enemy.
(Foxy's note: I don't know -- I've never worn them, Miney!)
Posted by: Miney Rowlson | April 9, 2007 8:04 AM
All I can say right now is you guys crack me up! I have to think about this one.
Posted by: miss d | April 8, 2007 9:55 PM
Hi Foxy, I agree about the remote keyless entry. Both of my vehicles have it. It is sometimes a pain. I have opened the trunk by accident many times. Altough i find the panic button very handy when I'm getting off the tram at disney. There are a million cars and I can make my horn blast off. Don
Posted by: Don LaPoint | April 8, 2007 9:05 PM
Hey Foxy...you mean to tell me those extra buttons on my remote control car finder open lock/unlock doors and open trunks. All this time I though it was only used so I could hit that special button to remind me where in the heck someone had hidden my car.....course I always was curious as to how my car kept locking and unlocking all on its own..and thought someone had broken into my trunk time after time. That's why I haven't put anything in my trunk for years...and that spare tire really did take up a lot of room in the backseat. :) You have made my day!!!!!
(Foxy's note: Yes, Chief, you hit on a good one with that stupid extra button to find your car. It sure helps in the WalMart parking lot, but it is a killer when I get home at 2 in the morning and accidentally push that button when I get out of the car, alerting the entire neighborhood that Foxy is finally home!)
Posted by: Chief | April 8, 2007 11:46 AM