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Seventeen
I used to be seventeen. And at midnight tonight you can make that exactly 42 years ago that I was seventeen. In June of 1965 I was a pretty happy guy. I was the starting first baseman for the OLVA Foxes and I'd just been teamed up with my Valentine's Day Kindergarten Queen Sue as King and Queen of the Junior Prom, themed "Shangri-La." Gee, what more could a guy ask for?
I knew more about baseball than girls and knew more about the Bible than the planets. I was thinking about a career as a priest or a career as an English teacher. A curser was somebody who was good at swearing, not something on a computer, and a monitor was Sister Anthony of Jesus during study hall, not something I looked at several times a day.
Times sure were different when I was seventeen. Which made it all the more shocking recently when I noticed a stack of recent Seventeen magazines on the back counter at the Stafford Middle School library. You see, being a substitute librarian for a day or two gave me an opportunity to peruse the reading material available to young readers.
I checked books in and out, a procedure taught to me by SMS's library assistant Colleen Hynes. I kept everyone relatively quiet during library hours, and just because I have missed saying it, I occasionally bellowed, "Hey, cut that out!" No one was really doing anything wrong, but the students don't know that. If you say that occasionally, they think you're watching their every move closely.
In between the loaning and returning of books and the occasional "Hey, cut that out!" I found time to examine the covers of the last four months of Seventeen magazine, the most popular magazine in the country for young girls.
The first thing that amazed me was the pretty face on the cover. All celebrities. And with a magazine called Seventeen, you might expect someone around seventeen years old on the cover. Not even close. The March cover girl was singer/actress Mandy Moore. She's 23 years old. The April cover girl was singer Avril Lavigne, a 22-year-old, as is May's cover girl, actress Scarlett Johansson. The real shocker came this month with Seventeen magazine's cover girl singer Fergie, who was born in 1975. She's 32 years old! Who's next? Will July's cover girl be Cher?
The cover girl bit made me more curious about the contents, but I had to look no further than the cover. There it was in big letters in March: "473 ways to look pretty!" No headline about studying, preparing for college or sports. Am I expecting too much?
In April we get "635 fashion and beauty tips." But, alas, no tips for studying or successfully writing a research paper. May improved on the "pretty" idea by upgrading to "526 ways to look beautiful." How about "One way to relax before a speech in front of class"? Am I expecting too much of Seventeen magazine, the magazine teen girls read more than any other?
Now that June is here, Seventeen brings "725 ways to look HOT and have fun" -- complete with exclamation points and underscores. I used to look hot. It was after I played a double-header against Beekmantown in 80-degree weather, wearing those picky old wool baseball pants and jersey. Most of the guys on my team said, "Wow, you look hot!"
I wasn't so hot after gulping down a big bottle of RC Cola.
Gee, what more do girls need to know about how to live a good life as a teenager? But Seventeen doesn't stop there! Also headlined on the March cover was "Sexy Legs Workout." Important, I guess. But not so important to the girl who plays softball and doesn't mind a black-and-blue leg from taking a line drive off the shins or a bleeding knee from sliding into third with a triple.
April helps girls "Get Your Best Butt" and May helps them "Get Flat Abs." Now that summer vacation is almost here, the June edition advises, "Get Your Best Beach Body."
Call me naive for thinking that the magazine Seventeen might offer something a little more intellectual for our teen girls. When I was Seventeen I had a subscription to SPORT magazine. All I cared about was the Los Angeles Dodgers and New York Giants and Philadelphia 76ers.
But I wasn't a girl. What were Sue and Betty and Ginny and Linda and Mary and Valerie reading back in 1965?
Comments
Foxy,
My best friend, Beth Butler, and I use to love to read Seventeen magazine from cover to cover. After reading an article on how to cut hair, we decided we could do it too!! You might recall she had the most beautiful red hair. After cutting one half of her hair, I panicked and couldn't finish!! Thankfully, her mother was able to fix it.
Hope you had a wonderful birthday.
Love you Bert!!
(Foxy's note: Always great to hear from some of my original favorite students, such as Wendy. Thanks!)
Posted by: Wendy | June 8, 2007 1:53 PM
FOXY:
Happy Birthday and just think, next year you break the big 60 barrier. I have about 3 years on you, but as they say, you are only as old as you feel and I feel like 17 (well, maybe 50)!
Like you at 17, I was most interested in sports along with fishing and hunting. I really didn't go "steady" with anyone until halfway through my senior year when I turned 18. Up until then , I was shy and afraid to approach or talk to girls much like "Gomer". I didn't think they were interested on how many home runs someone had or how to bait a hook or clean a rabbit.
Paul
Posted by: Paul Shirley - Class of '63 - PHS | June 8, 2007 10:02 AM
FOXY:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY and may the sun shine on your face and bring you happiness and good luck during this your 59th year!!!
P.S. Zonebreaker is responding to let Carver know that I am still lurking in the wind.
(Foxy's note: Welcome back, Zonebreaker. Obviously you have picked up a following here!)
Posted by: Zonebreaker | June 8, 2007 5:54 AM
Very Happy Birthday wishes to you Foxy. I think we may as well face it - some things will never change. Girls will always want to have the perfect beach body, get rid of those thunder thighs and have the most kissable lips; boys will always want to hit the home run, have the fastest car and kiss the most kissable lips (see the circle here). That which changes is acess to the target market - both males and females get hit from every angle and there is no stopping it. We, the village, therefore, must do the best we can to slow things down and teach our children to smell the roses. But, back to your birthday - have a great day and bask in all the wonderful energy that keeps us going every day. Your friend, miss d
(Foxy's note: Thanks, miss d.... I'll take a birthday hug next time we meet!)
Posted by: miss d | June 7, 2007 1:56 PM
Hi Foxy: Just to let you know Robert Jock passed away on June 5th, 2007 at West Palm VA Hospital! I had spoken to Bob about month or so ago and told him I was sorry for the lost of family relatives in the Plattsburgh Area in recent months! He told me he had just found out that he had cancer! Bob Owned and Operated a restaurant in Cadyville for 20 years. Bob and his D.A.V. members were always kind enough to help me and the Elks Lodge perform the annual Flag Day Ceremony! After the ceremony we would talk about Plattsburgh, Friends and good times! Bob was a good and decent person who would go out of his way to help someone in need! I will attend the services here in Port St Lucie,Florida on Saturday! I know he has lots of friends in Plattsburgh area and I wanted them to know! Maybe you could mention Bob's death in your blog! Happy Birthday Foxy! Thanks, Lenny Smallacombe
(Foxy's note: Bob is actually a third-cousin of mine. My mother's maiden name is Jock. I am very sorry to learn of his death. He was a reader of On the Sly and occasionally contributed a comment. I wil be sure that my Mom knows of his passing.)
Posted by: Lenny Smallacombe | June 7, 2007 1:49 PM
Happy Birthday, Foxy! Holy #%&@, I didn’t know you were THAT old!
It’s amazing to see how ‘vintage’ publications have changed over the years to become more racy, controversial, and graphic in order to sell. ‘Sports Illustrated’ used to tell the story behind the game; depict the strategies; discuss the preparedness of a team. Now it’s all about the swimsuit issue and the controversy behind the sport, who’s making how much, and what they’re doing with it! ‘Car and Driver’ used to do comparisons of affordable cars and one would reference them to find the best bang for the buck. Now, unless you’re looking for a $200,000 Lamborghini, or other 150 mph car, you’re not getting much for your $5.00.
It is definitely a different time we live in…the “information-age”. Everybody wants to know everybody else’s business and then they have to write how to do it better, faster, or generally just be critical of how it was done.
The age of innocence is long gone. I read law enforcement publications and newspapers from around the world on a daily basis and learning to put on lipstick is one of the laughable things that kids (boys and girls) are learning to do with their bodies today. Self-improvement through education, reading, and exercise are long gone. Magazines spend more time telling kids how to be sexier, stronger, faster, and riskier. Today’s seventeen is yesteryears twenty-nine with a little more “oomph!” and “oh my!”
Posted by: Kern | June 7, 2007 11:24 AM
Foxy! Happy birthday! I was an English student of yours in *cough* '89 *cough* and it's so good to see you're on the web! I'm still writing!
(Foxy's note: Always great to hear from former students. I remember you well!)
Posted by: Liz King | June 7, 2007 9:33 AM
Foxy,
Happy Birthday! May you have many more so you can continue the blog and keep me up to date with happenings and thoughts from my beloved North Country!!
Posted by: Woody | June 7, 2007 8:22 AM
Hello Foxy!
A VERY HAPPY "39th" BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOMORROW! (Of course, it's 1 am back east, so, my best to you.) Wish I was there to offer you a toast!
I had a subscription to Seventeen - some 49 years ago. Really racey ... Sandra Dee showed us how to properly put on lipstick. I loved the fashion tips which today would look like my grandmother's vintage. It was the age of innocence if there ever was one.
You mentioned the library ... well, at Chateaugay High, if a class wass cancelled, the good kids were sent to Study Hall ... motor mouths, like I, were sent to the Library to suffer the tender mercies of Mrs. Julia Harrica. (She actually was a lovely lady, but back then, I likened her to Ivan the Terrible!)
My father was the world's most avid Yankee fan and I never saw any reason to change my allegiance. Saturday nights, Hockey Night in Canada, was the best! I worshipped the Canadians and my father rooted for anyone who could beat them. Guess the grand days of yore with the Yankees and Canadians winning everything are only a dream now. This is what I did on the weekend. My mother, bless her heart, kept a tight rein on me.
I know each of us of the older generation recoil at the antics of today's youth. I know many great young adults, including my grandaughter Kristen, who are outstanding citizens. Yes, we hear about the bad ones and how out of control they are. This, in fact, is true ... the influx of drugs and in-your-face sexuality ... the media makes role models of outlandish Hollywood types. I don't remember worrying about not fitting into a size zero dress. Crazy world out there.
Have a wonderful birthday!!!
Lynda
(Foxy's note: Thanks, Lynda!)
Posted by: Lynda (Bouyea) Bevins | June 7, 2007 1:17 AM