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Too Much Time to Think
In my younger years I could make it through an entire year without having to attend a funeral. Nowadays I can't make it through a month. When I mentioned this to a few people recently, one friend said, "Don't complain as long as it's not your own!"
Sitting in a church waiting for the funeral to begin gives one more than ample time to consider one's own life. And death. I've had time to reflect upon the many ups and downs that have taken place in my life. And the years that have presented me with great happiness or great sadness: 1966, 1969, 1970, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1987, 1993, 2000, 2004 and March 18, 2005.
At each funeral ceremony it is now common practice for a family member or friend to reflect upon the life of the deceased. Sometimes I wonder what someone will say about me and what I would want them to say. I think about what songs I'd like played at my funeral. My Dad had requested that "Time In a Bottle" be played at his funeral, and I have never forgotten those quiet moments when his wish was granted.
There was a time, for several reasons, that I thought I'd die at the age of 48. That benchmark well behind me, maybe it's 84 instead. But I do know that I cherish each day, and, each day upon awakening, I say a silent prayer, grateful for another day. I try to find some reason to smile every day, or, at least, to make someone else smile.
It's sad that people quietly step out of our lives, by death or otherwise. But they have left their impressions on our heart forever. Their memories stay alive. As Ray Bradbury has written, "No person ever died that had a family."
But for now there's videotaping of soccer and football games and things to sell on eBay and friends to visit with at night and baseball games to watch and a big screen TV to buy and a bucket of wings to eat. No time for anything else just yet, Lord! I'm too busy to die.
Comments
Playing someone's favorite tune at a funeral is a great way to kill a good song, unless the song is depressing to begin with.
Posted by: mayor of Vocabulary Ville | October 1, 2007 5:36 AM
Foxy; I learned early in life the meaning of death and its effect. I was four when my father was killed in WWII in France in December 1944. My mother became ill from his death and was hospitalized most of her life. My two brothers and sister never lived together as a family again! Moving in and out of foster homes. Family has always been important to me, Because of growing up without one! In the past three years I have lost one brother and a sweet sister. Also way too many friends. Many other people have also lost loved ones early in life. We need to remember to forget People's shortcomings in life and look at people in a Better positive way! Never stay mad and learn to forgive and remember to tell your friends you Care. Always tell your family you Love them because God has bless you to have them! Lenny
(Foxy's note: Great advice, Lenny, and thanks for sharing your story.)
Posted by: Lenny Smallacombe | September 12, 2007 7:45 AM
Well Mr. Foxy - if you want to remain on this side of the casket - quit eating balogna sandwiches with butter and chicken wings. I know - I'm a party pooper. However, if you must eat balogna sandwiches with butter- crush a few potato chips in the middle! Sorry I had to revert to the previous blog, but this one is just too depressing!
Your friend, miss d!
Posted by: miss d | September 11, 2007 9:08 PM
Foxy, your column certainly places things in perspective. My Mom passed away at 48 years old while Doc is still working at 86 years old. I attended Mrs. Bergman's funeral this afternoon and saw many people from all ages and walks of life there.
Each passing day brings challenges, disappointments, and heartaches but we all keep moving forward. Keep smiling, my friend!
Posted by: The Donald | September 11, 2007 7:22 PM
Foxy - everytime I hear "Time in Bottle"- I feel that our dad is saying hello and reminding me that he's keeping an eye on me. It always gives me a content feeling. How I know, life can be taken from you in a split second. I often wonder why I had a second chance. I learned to value life much more now. When things go bad I try to remember I am alive enjoying my life to the fullest.
(Foxy's note: Yes, Goose, sometimes the little brother can teach the big brother things -- and that is something you have taught me - to enjoy my life to the fullest!)
Posted by: Goose | September 11, 2007 3:27 PM
Foxy:
Getting older is tough to swallow but it sure beats the alternative. I start each day by reading the P-R obituaries - if my name isn't there I know it's going to be a good day. I have mixed feelings about longevity. My Dad lived to be 97 and a few years before he passed, he pointed out some of the disadvantages of great age: You are imprisoned in a body that no longer does what you want it to and you have outlived all of your friends. I guess it's all about the quality of life, 'eh?
(Foxy's note: Yes, good point, Ron. I remember your Dad always busy working in the yard. Kept himself fit. My Mom, soon to be 86, is doing well health-wise, but most of her friends have passed away. A life that used to be so busy is not so busy anymore.)
Posted by: Ron Turbide | September 11, 2007 9:56 AM