On The Sly

During my classroom teacher years I had a simple rule: "Closed door = quiet." When I was ready to begin teaching for the period, I simply went over to my door and shut it. My students knew that at that point, they had to stop talking -- "mid-sentence, mid-word, mid-syllable," as I used to tell them.

And, of course, when I was speaking to the class, or when another student was addressing the class, no one else would be talking. That worked because, as my students knew, "three strikes and you are out!" It was simple!

No so simple when you are in gym class! You can throw those two rules right out the non-existent window. From the moment the students arrived, they were excited and full of energy. Their voices raised to shouting level and they began running helter-skelter looking for anything to touch, hit, kick or climb on.

With no door to shut to get them quiet, I shouted out. They didn't hear me. A second shout, a bit louder, was just as ineffective. I reached back for a little extra mustard on my third shout, and felt something pop in my vocal cords area.

The planned activity of the day was "dodge ball," but I was quickly corrected by the students who said that it had to be called "fluff ball." For the next thirty minutes the students ran tirelessly from one spot to the next, enjoying the activity and shouting to their heart's content.

I took it all in with an amazed look on my face. Class by class, they played by the rules, for the most part, as I served as monitor and arbiter and thought back to my days of "closed door = quiet."

It's a whole other world, folks! And then they have a period called "stress relief." Just what I needed! But it wasn't for me. It was for the students! They arrived for some time that used to be called "recess" in the old days. And they played soccer or basketball and ran and shouted and had fun, while I supervised as best I could.

I was okay until I was accidentally hit in the face with a rubber ball. How many times a day do phys ed teachers get hit in the head by a flying object? In 35 years as a classroom teacher I never got hit in the head with anything -- not even a spitball. Not even a piece of chalk.

It took just day for me to gain a new sense of respect for physical education teachers around the world. No wonder they all look so young! Take a look at Stafford Middle School's trio of phys ed teachers: Vickie McMillan, Jim Manchester and Pat Goodell. They all look like they just graduated from high school. They are all fit and youthful and smiling. They look like they are in their twenties.

It was obvious to me that I was a stranger in a strange land. My days as a gym teacher are numbered. And that number is "zero." I don't know how they do it. It's another world, I tell you.