J. W. Wiley has possibly orchestrated and engaged in more conversations about diversity and social justice than anyone else in the North Country of New York. He is as eager to get in your ear as he is to have you share your thoughts.
Recently I sat down to grade papers for a diversity class I teach and was surprised like you wouldn’t believe. Reading one of the student’s papers I was all of a sudden faced with an intriguing situation. The student started the paper by informing me that he was in a local business and over heard two people discussing J.W. Wiley’s take on the word “girl.” Aside from the fact that this business owner was publicly disparaging me with gossip that could be heard by anyone within earshot, the business owner is also a woman who condones “girl talk” as well, and was attempting to make a point about not just the substance of my message, but the delivery of my message. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem for me to hear about and I’ve even had students close to me ask me about my delivery or style, trying to figure out the rhyme or reason for my approach at times. That has never bothered me. But this business owner allegedly didn’t realize that she was criticizing and chastising me for my style of delivering a message while she was displaying her style, class (or lack thereof), and aplomb before people that she had no clue might possibly be connected to me somehow. In this case, one of them happened to be a student of mine who decided to include some of the specifics of the business owner’s public critique in a paper he was writing on gender. The main reason the student included the business owner’s comments in the paper was that he couldn’t understand how, under any circumstances, this business woman wasn’t in agreement that the use of the term “girl” is very much inappropriate when aimed at an adult woman.
Continue reading "Girl Talk: When, If Ever is It Appropriate?" »
I was sitting in my office with three of my TAs when the email arrived. It had the student’s name on the subject line: “Danny Keeler.” I turned and shared with the TAs that I was about to open an email that had me quite nervous. The colleague who had sent me the email is one of my mentors and while we are close in many ways, with me owing him a debt for the support he gave me early in my problematic career at SUNY Plattsburgh, recently we hadn’t talked much. In fact, at that time, I probably owed him a phone call. Suffice it to say, we hadn’t spoken in a while, so an email from him with the subject line” “Danny Keeler,” was more than a bit odd, it was actually quite daunting.
Continue reading "Ode to Danny Keeler: A “Star” If I’ve Ever Gazed One!" »
Recently in the CDPI Diversity Film Series we watched “Vicki Cristina Barcelona.” Coincidentally (or not) in my Romance, Sex, Love and Marriage (RSLM) course at SUNY Plattsburgh we are about to complete the sex theme where we also watched film clips from “Vicki Cristina Barcelona” to further accentuate/breath life into some of the assigned readings. A scene that garnered quite a bit of conversation was when Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem) approaches Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) upon their first meeting and invites them to join him on a private plane ride (with himself as pilot) to a small somewhat hidden away island for a weekend of what he describes as showing them around where they will “eat well, drink good wine, and make love.” Upon resistance from one of the women, Vicky, Juan Antonio further adds “Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain, and this is a chance for something special.” When further challenged by Vicky to be more explicit about who exactly he is proposing could be making love, he unabashedly states “the three of us.”
Continue reading "What are the Socio-economic/Gendered Implications to an Intimate Proposition?" »
What is really happening with our nation’s response to the Obama presidency? Since my professional reality centers upon challenging others/myself to recognize the biases we have that may be counterproductive to our being the best we can be, I need assistance unpacking some observations surrounding “our” first African American president that just don’t make much sense.
Continue reading "Are Responses to Obama Reflective of a Hidden Agenda, Paranoia, People's Inability to See Themselves, or Privilege?" »
It has been a short summer, hasn’t it? I wonder if everyone is happy putting so-called relax time behind them for a while? For me, I’m excited to be back in the mix with the steady flow of my life. This semester excites me more than others because I am teaching my Romance, Sex, Love, and Marriage (RSLM) course once again. I only teach it once every third semester and because of that there is usually a healthy number of students clamoring for it by the time it arrives. This energizes me because if you know anything about college electives, it isn’t easy attracting students to do serious work for a class that isn’t required. So, having 50 students in what is essentially a non-required philosophy class to discuss various dimensions of their lived, or soon to be lived lives is what we would call in the vernacular of my old neighborhood “off the hook!”
Continue reading "Does Excessive Flattery/Admiration Undercut the Ability to Romance: Is It a Socio-Economic Issue?" »
How many songs have influenced us in our lives? Remember those times when we listened to a song and from listening and reflecting upon its meaning we knew what we needed to say to that loved one of ours upon our next interaction? Can’t you hear Billy Joel saying,
“Don’t go changing, to try and please me, don’t change the color of your hair…”
Don't try to act as if the song title I Love You Just the Way You Are didn’t become a personal mantra of yours. Then there were those songs that we listened to that made us want to be better people. John Lennon asked us to,
“Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people, Sharing all the world... “
I tried real hard to not be materialistic after hearing the lyrics to Imagine. There were even those songs that made us not want to take any crap off of someone. An agitated, irritated 50 Cent rapped in his song Places to Go,
"You mistaken me for somebody that you should be testing,
You should be stressing I'm gonna "frollicking" teach you a lesson,"
No, he didn't actually say "frollicking." Work with me here!
Continue reading "Could Obama’s Edge Come From Music, Perhaps Even Gangsta Rap?" »
When we romance someone do we consider how/why she/he receives us the way she/he does?
When we kiss someone what is the criteria that contributes to our kiss being considered a “good” kiss as opposed to a bad one? Could it be because my lips are fuller or less full than other people’s lips? Could it be that a person has been told they are different, enough to affect their confidence?
Is a preference or disdain to lip size or hip size racism, or ableism?
Does our sexual orientation affect the quality/way we are capable of loving or being loved?
Can sex be better if you have it within a backdrop of a 5 star hotel, or with cars racing past as lovers hurriedly attempt to take advantage of a moment, with the only option available being a car and the only location the side of the road?
Are these questions that most people ask themselves? Would our experiences with romance, sex, love, and marriage be better if we engaged these questions as we move in and out of our intimate moments? Well, what do you think?
Continue reading "Romance, Sex, Love, and Marriage: Perhaps the Most Significant Discussion We Never Had!" »
Recently I wrote an In My Opinion (IMO) in the Press Republican (PR) on April 28 about a local politician who recently made statements that were consistent with what men who were against the women’s suffrage movement might have said, or what racists against the abolitionist’s movement might have said. When I expressed disbelief that she could have made these statements, I was called intolerant by an ex-student of mine in another PR IMO (May 9). This ex-student attempted to take me to task for being intolerant simply because I challenged the politician's alleged statements. Aside from the student’s ignorance of the often painful plight of gays and lesbians and political agenda as a proclaimed Republican leader (the politician I challenged is also Republican), what many people wouldn’t know is that the student who challenged me is the son of a prominent community leader who actually wrote a PR IMO back in September 2008 challenging me for my attempt at satire in an August 2008 PR IMO about the potential of the Obama’s ascending to the White House.
Continue reading "If She is Racist, Why Isn't He?...Race, Gender, & Class Conflicts" »
In a blog I wrote a month ago titled Interracial/Anti-Social Implications of Dating we covered quite a bit of territory in our discussion on the societal underpinnings of interracial dating. We not only engaged interracial dating, but various types of different dating scenarios. Though I didn’t go into same sex dating in that blog, I recently posted an In My Opinion in the Press Republican (April 28th) on the implications of one of our elected officials criticizing same sex marriage in what I saw as complicated ways because of the problematic language she used. In essence, her critiques/concerns about same sex marriage reflected the same language that people used to prevent her, as a woman, and other now so-called liberated people from achieving their equal rights.
Continue reading "Is Freeing Our Minds the Answer?" »
I am mischievously curious as to what you think about the concept of only 35 personality types? Yes, somewhere once I read/heard/subconsciously plagiarized the concept of their being about 35 personality types. Because I am too busy/lazy at present to research any similar concepts/theories, let’s just flow with the fact that there actually are about 35 (or 25, or 45) personality types. If so, the theory suggests that if you “know” these so-called personality types, you can recognize them as they approach you. You can anticipate their thoughts and actions from similar personality types you have previously encountered. In other words, if you are an anthropologist of sorts, a student of people (someone who can get into watching people) who actually somewhat analyzes, albeit veiled or subtle, everyone you meet that you have a moment to focus on, then you have mastered or are well on the road to mastering aspects of human interaction. After all, if you have encountered five people who have reminded you of one another, who all looked somewhat similar, with similar characteristics, similar mannerisms, similar intellects, and you encountered a sixth look-a-like of theirs, wouldn’t you be foolish not to assume certain things? And yes, I know this is an argument for stereotyping/profiling, so where do we go from here?
Continue reading "Blog #76 Personality Types, This Blog, and You!" »
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- Girl Talk: When, If Ever is It Appropriate?
- Ode to Danny Keeler: A “Star” If I’ve Ever Gazed One!
- What are the Socio-economic/Gendered Implications to an Intimate Proposition?
- Are Responses to Obama Reflective of a Hidden Agenda, Paranoia, People's Inability to See Themselves, or Privilege?
- Does Excessive Flattery/Admiration Undercut the Ability to Romance: Is It a Socio-Economic Issue?
- Could Obama’s Edge Come From Music, Perhaps Even Gangsta Rap?
- Romance, Sex, Love, and Marriage: Perhaps the Most Significant Discussion We Never Had!
- If She is Racist, Why Isn't He?...Race, Gender, & Class Conflicts
- Is Freeing Our Minds the Answer?
- Blog #76 Personality Types, This Blog, and You!
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