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Looking for Love (Romance, Sex, & Marriage) in Divergent Places

Considering that the Wiley Wandering blog is about diversity and social justice topics we always stay true to that end. Also consider the fact that I teach elements of diversity & social justice in all my classes (Examining Diversity through Film; Examining Dimensions of Cool; The Philosophy of W.E.B. DuBois; African American Culture; Moral Problems/Societal Dilemmas). With that in mind what are the films which we use in class that you would recommend to other readers of this blog that exemplify Romance, Sex, Love, & Marriage (that isn’t pornographic) while also representing diversity & social justice, and why would you recommend them in terms of diversity & social justice? Now, keep in mind that the themes we cover in the class Examining Diversity through Film are Ability, Race, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Socio-economic Class, and Privilege.


Additionally, name two other films that you may think I haven’t seen (and that we aren’t using in the class—check your syllabus) that you would recommend for me to use in the class and how/why I should use them. Keep in mind that teaching these topics isn't always done from an idealistic depiction of romance, sex, love, and/or marriage. Sometimes the best lessons are learned from using dysfunctional images. Also, remember you need to refer to the themes (Ability, Race, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Socio-economic Class, and Privilege) when you recommend how/why I should use them. Oh, beyond the obvious need for the title, please include the year the film was made/released and the director.

Lastly, what is the one song that you would recommend for the RSLM course that I haven’t used yet and why? Also, which category would you recommend I use it in and why? One last thing, please play devil’s advocate and challenge at least one (blog post on this topic) recommendation of a film or song, at least pretending as if you see it as problematic. This will make all blog posts stronger in anticipation of being challenged.

You don’t have to be enrolled, or have been enrolled, in my Romance, Sex, Love, & Marriage course to participate in this conversation. Please contribute your suggestions as well. Who knows, they may end up on my syllabus.

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My name is Desiree, and a film that I absolutely love, which I saw before even being enrolled in the Romance, Sex, Love, & Marriage course, is He’s Just Not That into You. This film definitely does exemplify all four themes, which is why it is showed in this class. It has really given me insight within my own love life, which is why I would recommend it to other readers of this blog. I’ve actually quoted this movie a couple times, and it’s allowed me to rationalize my own logic when it comes to all aspects of love. The film takes a look into the reality of rejection. It explains the thoughts of someone not really being into you, when, from the beginning, we are taught and programmed to think that if someone acts like they don’t like you, it means they really do. This film also shows diversity and social justice in the sense of displaying the different kinds of relationships of couples and singles, what they go through, and how they overcome their relationship problems, and I think it’s important to see different types of relationships in order to better your own.

I would recommend Our Family Wedding (2010, Director Rick Famuyiwa) with America Ferrera, because this film represents all four themes through an inter-racial couple. A woman who is Mexican-American and a man who is African-American plan on getting married, but can’t do so without the acceptance of each other's father who hate one another because of racist remarks each made during an argument they had. Then when they find out their children are getting married, they compete for how the wedding should be, causing a breakup in family traditions and more importantly, breaking up the the young couple. Another film that I would recommend is From Prada to Nada (2011, Director Angel Gracia) with Alexa Vega because it is about two privileged Latina girls who have their wealth taken away from them when their father dies. Both girls take the situation differently when they are forced to move to East L.A. with their less fortunate family members in a completely different environment that they’re not used to. Not only do they end up finding themselves and their culture, but they also find love along the way. Both are really great movies.

A song that I would recommend for RSLM is Diced Pineapples by Rick Ross featuring Wale and Drake because it is poetic, sexy, and more importantly, controversial. It is vulgar, but the rawness of the song makes it real, which is why I really like this song. Rick Ross, Wale, and Drake spit game in a way that many other rappers wouldn’t, and this song could be categorized as romance, sex, and love. I would also recommend Don’t Judge Me by Chris Brown because it’s also very real. The song is about trusting your lover and not judging them based on their past, which is important in all relationships. This song would be categorized as love, and it is one of my favorite songs lyrically.

My name is Tyler. The first movie that came to my head that we saw in class is He’s Just Not That Into You. I saw this entire movie awhile ago and it’s been a favorite ever since. The first time I saw He’s Just Not That Into You, I remember thinking “Oh,” when the movie showed that people treating you negatively does not mean they are interested in you. I’m not really sure that stereotype is something I’ve always believed in, but it has always been “the norm” of why someone would be showing you negative attention.
The film demonstrates the different reactions and approaches people take when receiving mixed signals from another person. This regularly happens everyday and our first reaction is “He/she wants me.” This even happens with the people you may be casually dating. You may think someone is dating you for one reason, but he/she may have another reason in mind. The film also shows how people mistake these mixed signals for some type of romance, and even a chance at love.
The fact that people do not value marriage or take it that seriously is also depicted in this film. After being in a relationship with someone for seven years, why not make marriage a next step? Some can even argue why make it a next step. In the marriage instance, the film shows that if you let these mixed signals follow you throughout your relationship, your end result may just be not getting what you expected.
Diversity and social justice is shown in the variety of relationships and problems each couple tries to overcome. It is also shown because it is always said that guys are always giving women mixed signals. Also, the fact the cast is Caucasian removes the stereotype of African-American guys being the only ones giving off mixed signals to a women. The quote, “There may be no evident difference between feelings of love and infatuation but there is all the difference in the world between love’s patient intentions and the mere excitement that cannot see beyond its own satisfaction,” (About Love, Robert C Solomon) perfectly sums up everything displayed in the movie from the mixed signals, to the failed relationships, and right to the marriage not happening.
One film I would recommend to be shown to the class is One Day. This film can be used for sex, but can be an even stronger example for the love portion of the class. It is about a young man and woman, played by Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, who meet and hookup one night in college. From their sexual experience they try to remain friends but over the course of life, that does not work out. The basis of the story is about the stages of their love that is looked upon every year, on the same day they met. The movie shows that guys do have the ability to show strong feelings and will break if it is for a girl they are really serious about. (One Day, released in 2011, directed by Lone Scherfig)
Another film I would definitely recommend is The Notebook. Most people have seen this movie but it is a great example. This movie touches on every single aspect in the class very nicely. The fact that Rachel McAdam’s and James Garner’s characters are so young, it is much easier to relate to. The movie shows the simple romance that brought the two together in the first place, their first sexual experience together, the strong love they shared, and a marriage not happening because they loved each other so much. Everything about their experiences and time together was so strong and demonstrates what happens in our young generation.
At one point, they were separated because of their social differences. However, the love they shared with each other brought them back together one day and there was no stopping them then. The film proves the ability to overcome struggles that are normal in love. They had time, family involvement and distance between them but still made it in the end. (The Notebook, released in 2004, directed by Nick Cassavetes)
A song I would recommend be used for the class is Dance For You By Beyonce. I chose this song because in a very classy way, I see romance, sex, love, and marriage. I see romance because she is talking about dancing for her man as a source of pleasure. This could be just that or it could lead to sex. Sex comes about because the song sounds very sexual, though classy, and there is a part she says, “this is beyond sex,” which can be an unexpected line from the rest of the song. That line shows that sometimes sex isn’t just about sex, but more. I see love throughout the entire song because the fact that Beyonce is being sexually classy and not vulgar, shows that her heart is really in her words for the man she is singing about. I also see marriage because dancing for someone, privately, is the type of dedication for you would most likely see in a marriage. The song has a nice flow to it and the words go great with it. Beyonce sets the sexually classy tone that I like with this song.

My name is Melissa Johnson and I would recommend the film Chasing Amy. As a previous student of Examining Diversity through Film, I can see this film through both a romantic lens as well as a sexual orientation lens. In the specific scene we watched in both classes, Joey Lauren Adam’s character attempts to describe the realness of a sexual encounter between two women. Adam’s makes the argument that hooking up between a man and a woman has similar characteristics to two women hooking up. Clark-Flory notes in the article “In Defense of Casual Sex,”sometimes hooking up is regular sex with a casual acquaintance; sometimes it’s innocent making out or casually dating or cuddling…” Ben Affleck’s character on the other hand, tries to convince Adam’s that sex can only occur between a man and a woman; a penis and a vagina. The two converses about the topic, and Affleck’s character seems unconvinced by Adam’s argument. Which side would you chose? Adam’s or Affleck’s? Why?

The first film I would recommend for you to watch is Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. This film was created in 2004, and directed by Guy Ferland. It follows a similar story line to the original Dirty Dancing with a little twist. It is set in Havana against the backdrop of the Castro led revolution against the ruling Batista government, whose regime supports the wealthy. Diego Luna and Romola Garai play the two main roles in the film. Garai’s character has just moved to Cuba because her rich father had to relocate for his job. Luna and Garai meet because of Garai’s job at the local country club. But their relationship blossoms after bonding at a street dancing event. As Luna’s character teaches Garai’s to dance Cuban style, the couple falls for each other. The movie allows viewers to follow the couples growing romantic relationship while noting their contrast in social class in race.

The next movie I would suggest for you to watch is Ocean’s Eleven. Created in 2001 and directed by Steven Sodebergh. This movie is a mastermind of theft and romance. George Clooney’s character has just got out of jail and is planning his next heist. ‘Where to rob?’ you ask; of course the largest three casinos in Las Vegas. Enthralled by the action of stealing all the money from Vegas’s largest casino’s one forgets the reason George Clooney is robbing them all in the first place: his ex-wife, played by Julia Roberts. She is dating the owner of the largest casino in Vegas. The same casino George Clooney’s character is planning to rob. Coincidence? I think not. He wants to show off his masculinity to her by robbing all the casinos. He also wants to show her that he can take care of her both financially and physically. What better money to shower her with then the money of her current boyfriend, right? The story continues enticing the viewer with the romance of Clooney and Roberts. Does he get the woman in the end? You’ll just have to watch and find out.

Lastly, a song I would recommend for use in the class is titled “Rude Boy’ by Rihanna. In the song Rihanna seems to be feeling some sort of double consciousness. On one hand, she is a strong black woman, not configuring to socializations. She says “Come here rude boy, can you get it up? Come here rude boy, is you big enough? Take it, take it, baby, baby.” She wants to be enticed by this boy and she states it blatantly. On the other hand, I see her as a woman falling into one trap, the trap that a woman has to be what a man wants her to be. I see this specifically when she sings “Tonight, Imma let you be the Captain, tonight Imma let you do your thing, yeah.” The contrast between the later and the former is staggering. She wants this man and she’s questioning if he can handle her, then she says she’s going to let him do all the work, and let him take control. What do you see from this song?
The link with lyrics for the song is as follows: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0t1lEom9iM

I believe the clip shown in class from ER is great for both RSLM as well as EDTF. As the clip gives one insight to people who are within the gay community as well as people madly in love. It portrays a man who is willingly trying to contract AIDS from his partner. Whilst the doctor watching over the scenario advises strongly against it. This clip gives a look into the homosexual community. The clip also gives a look into the mind of someone in love. Someone who believes that love since it is so sacred, is free from societal interruption even if the love leads to hazardous consequences.

The second clip I would recommend for both RSLM and EDTF is the scene from Deathproof. As it shows how women gauge each others sexuality and express their own in a very practical and down to Earth way. The scene is also great for EDTF because it shows how regardless of gender, race or nationality when it comes to certain things Western culture has taught everyone (for better or worse) to think and act the same way.

Hello, my name is Lindsay. In the article “The Analytic Categories of the Philosophy of Sex,” Alan Soble states, “We go out of our way to make ourselves look more physically attractive and socially desirable to the other person than we really are, and we go to great lengths to conceal our physical and personality defects. We are never our true selves on a first date, trying to make a good and hence misleading impression. While it might be the case that men sexually objectify women more than women objectify men, it is undeniable that both men and women engage in deception in trying to elicit a positive response from other people.” I find this quote very interesting because it is indeed true, and I believe it is something human beings can do both consciously and subconsciously. Whenever we meet someone we like or are interested in, we go to great lengths to impress them. I believe this is mainly because we don’t want to scare them away with any flaws we might have and we want to show off the good qualities we obtain as much as possible. I like how Soble uses the word ‘deception’ because in essence we may be deceiving the other person by acting a certain way or agreeing to things we would not normally agree too. The physical aspect is relevant too; on a first date, one is always bound to dress up more and attempt to accentuate their good features. We do this to impress our date and to leave them with a positive image to remember us by (in hopes they will want to see us again).
The first film I would suggest for the class is Arthur, starring Russell Brand. This movie depicts both romance and marriage in an unconventional way. Brand is forced into an arranged marriage in order to continue to live off his family’s fortune; however, he ends up falling for a lower class woman named Naomi, who is his true love. With some help from his unlimited amount of money, and his witty charm, he is able to sweep Naomi off her feet. I believe several scenes from this movie would be beneficial to class because the film deals with romance, love and marriage in a way that isn’t necessarily typical or ideal, but still somewhat realistic and relatable.
The second film I would suggest is The Ugly Truth, starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl. While Katherine views love as more of a fairy tale fantasy, with the perfect man in mind, Butler says all the things women don’t wanna hear, but knows are true. He tells it like it is and it isn’t always nice, but it is very accurate. When their paths cross initially, they cannot stand one another, but over time they begin to fall in love. This film would fit into all four categories: romance, sex, love, and marriage because it touches upon all of them. Marriage is merely discussed while the others are present within the characters. But due to the differences in Heigl and Butler’s views on love, I believe this film would be great for provoking class discussion.
A song I would suggest for the class is “What’s Your Fantasy” by Ludacris. This song would most definitely belong in the sex theme. While most of the lyrics are a bit raunchy and vulgar, it is also very honest and sexy. The song itself is catchy and poetic in the way that it rhymes throughout. I do not think it is degrading or offensive, but some might say so. Ludacris talks about all the different places he would like to have sex with a woman, and I find it more interesting than not. It is an original song for sure and I feel that it would be appropriate for class discussion within the “sex themed” weeks.

My name is Asher, and I believe that being romantic is about spontaneity and being, filled with a passion and curiosity that causes you to do things you normally wouldn’t do. “Romantic love begins with the inspiration and exhilaration of sexual attraction” (Solomon, About Love). One film in class that you should us in class that I would recommend to readers to watch would be What Women Want. The film is about Mel Gibson having the ability to read women’s minds. And, in this film Mel Gibson uses his powers to dominate a female co-worker by stealing her thoughts; however, those same thoughts were the cause of him falling in love with her. He eventually tells her the truth, something he thought he would never do, because he had fallen in love with her. This film displays diversity with respect to gender. The film shows how two people really fall in love; which is not physical but mental. As a woman, Helen Hunt’s character was respected for her ideas and was seen as more than just a girl, but a strong woman who could handle business well.

One Movie that I would recommend you show in class would be, Hitch (2005, director Andy Tennant) starring Will Smith. This film shows how love can begin to blossom, by being yourself and not trying to be someone, or something that you aren’t. In the film Will Smith’s character, shows that love can be found in any one, as he finds it with a woman of a different race, which can help teach about removing color barriers from love. Another movie that I would recommend you show in class would be, Daddy’s Little Girls (2007, director Tyler Perry) staring Gabrielle Union and Idris Elba. In the film, Gabrielle’s character is a successful lawyer who falls in love with her chauffer, Idris Elba. The two fall for each other even though she is of a higher socio-economic status. In the film she is even ridiculed for being in love with Idris, because of his massive baggage of having three daughters, an on going trail with the mother of his children, and being a mechanic.

Lastly, one song that I recommend that you use for the RSLM course is Don’t Change, by Musiq SoulChild because it is a song that resonates with a couple that has shared many memories and look to continue making memorable moments. I recommend using this song when discussing the marriage topic. This song depicts the unconditional love that a couple shares for each other.

A film that I could watch over and over again and experience new revelations every time I watch it is, Mo’ Better Blues. I definitely recommend this movie for readers of this blog as exemplary in social justice and diversity issues as well as touching on the themes of romance, sex, love and marriage as well. Bleek, an African-American male, struggles with his feelings in relation to love, and romance as well as his music career. Bleek is creating music during a time period, when being a mediocre trumpet player is not going to gain him fame or respect, he must excel at what he does as an African-American male in order to be taken seriously by the wider White culture. This film illuminated for me the various struggles that African-American males encounter. Bleek, because of his own tumultuous past, lacked role models that would teach him how to be satisfied with life as a husband and father. As busy as he is with his music however, he like almost any other human being craves sex, affection, and love. He also has to juggle this with his passion, his trumpet. The women that want to be in his life are not always understanding of the time that he devotes to his music. It is interesting to see how the women in his life come to terms with the possibility that he will never marry them or settle down. Overall this movie brings to the forefront the obstacles that African-Americans faced as entertainers and musicians and as lovers and friends during the Jazz period in the United States. Many musicians were self-destructive and gave into the lure of drugs and alcohol. They were revered for their talent but not always respected as they should have been.

Another favorite of mine from the RSLM class is, Chasing Amy. If you are reading this blog now, you simply must put this on your to watch list. This film addresses social issues and diversity in relation to human sexuality and the heterosexism. It is replete with romance, sex, love and issues surrounding the idea of marriage. It takes on stereotypes associated with bi-sexuality and women’s sexuality in general. Chasing Amy also explores the feelings that Ben Affleck and Jason Lee have for each other as friends and otherwise. Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams debunk a number of the stereotypes associated with the sexuality of women through their candid talks. I highly recommend this movie to anyone that views heterosexual and homosexual in black and white terms with no gray areas.

I highly recommend House of Flying Daggers, originally titled, Shi mian mai fu,f or the RSLM class. It was released in 2004, and directed by Zhang Yimou. Although this film has English subtitles and is based during the Tang dynasty, it touches on issues that are still very relevant today such as: romance, love, sex, race, ableism, classism, privilege and sexism. The “Flying Daggers,” are a group of rebels that steal from the rich and give to the poor, in an almost “Robin Hood,” type fashion. One of the main characters, Mei (Zhang Ziyi) who is posing as the old leader of the Flying Daggers’ blind daughter, works as a dancer in the Peony Pavillion. All of the dancers in this brothel are dressed in stereotypical period costumes and are used expressly to please men. Zhang Ziyi’s character is the only one that attempts to break out of this mold. On a number of occasions men try to take advantage of her because she is blind. Ziyi’s character is almost raped by Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro), after the first time she dances for him. Zhang and Takeshi are arrested by Leo (Andy Lau) when he interrupts Takeshi’s advances. Sexual tension develops in an interrogative encounter between Zhang Ziyi and Andy Lau’s characters, as he tries to get her to divulge the Flying Daggers whereabouts. Takeshi’s character eventually breaks her out of jail, but is in cahoots with Lau’s character, as he uses her to lead him to the Flying Daggers. As Zhang travels back home, she runs into her true love and there is a beautiful love making scene that takes place between them. To further complicate this story, Takeshi’s character, while traveling with Zhang on her trek back to her home, slowly falls in love with her.

The next film I would recommend for the RSLM course is, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, released in 2012 and directed by Kirk Jones. The cast is very diverse with actors and actresses such as: Jennifer Lopez, Catherine Dyer, Chris Rock, Cameron Diaz, Amir Talai, and Nico Ward. The five couples in this movie, reflect a variety of relationships found within the sectors of romance and love. I did find one flaw in this film however, none of the couples that were depicted in this film were either homosexual or lesbian. I think that if the writer of this movie would have explored this topic, it would have made this movie that much better. Men are not in stereotypical roles that are often associated with them, instead a number of them take on the role of stay at home dad, which is a relatively new status for many men. The daddy group that Jennifer Lopez’s character sends her husband to, talks about real life issues while their pushing strollers, to during their “happy hour.” They work as a support group for one another and talk about topics that come up in marriage, or having a baby, such as physical changes in women after they have children and how the father’s lives have changed as a result of having babies. Other stereotypes are upheld, such as women controlling the baby universe and driving a mini-van as typically associated with being feminine. Cameron Diaz’s character talks about how her pregnant body is objectified and talked about by perfect strangers, as well as her newborn child. The father and son duo that are having babies with their wives are in a power struggle with each other, from everything like their jobs, houses and wives. In one especially revealing clip, Dennis Quaid’s character shows Ben Falcone’s character a 4D sonogram with twin girls, after Ben’s character shows him a run of the mill sonogram with one boy. Dennis Quaid’s character attributes his supposed superiority to his son, to skill, rather than his socio-economic privilege in relation to his son’s status. This movie illustrates many of the difficulties that married and unmarried couples face in their relationships, whether they have children or not.

A song that I like and would be great in the RSLM class is, Maroon 5’s, “One More Night.”
This song exemplifies the dysfunctional nature of many long term relationships. The tapping in the background sounds like someone tap dancing as couples often do around touchy issues in their relationships. Or it could be an S.O.S. telegram that someone is sending out from a fictional warzone, such as their relationship. It would work well in the “marriage,” category. I think that this song gives a realistic face to couples that have been in long term relationships. Especially the lines, “You and I get so damn dysfunctional, we stopped keeping score. You and I get sick, yeah, I know that we can't do this no more. But baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you. Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go. Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo. And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you. So I cross my heart and I hope to die That I'll only stay with you one more night And I know I said it a million times But I'll only stay with you one more night” (Adam Lambert, “One More Night). Many couples have a love/hate relationship and swear that the next time they fight or the next time a specific event happens, that they are going to leave or end it. When this event happens, they end up staying and wondering why. Numerous individuals still perceive long term relationships as being filled with love, admiration and romance, 24/7, for your loved one. That is just not reality, relationships are hard work and lots of disagreement goes on in them. Couples sometimes compare their relationships to that one “golden” relationship that seems perfect. Not every relationship is like that, in fact individuals that think romantically about their significant others all the time and never fight, are the anomaly, not the rule. This song illuminates the reality of relationships in a way that stresses that for the most part, barring instances of domestic violence, that what is normal for your relationship, is in fact normal. And like the writer of this song states, when the dust settles you end up staying because deep down you love your partner.

I am Donta N. Bartley and the movie that has left the greatest impact on me from RSLM is Disappearing Acts. I watched this film prior to enrolling in the course and I believe this movie gives a realistic depiction of romance. Sanaa Lathan's character previously "tested the waters" in order to find out what type of man she'd be most satisfied with. During the film her character says "All I know is I did my time with those suit and tie brothers who think because they pull out their platinum card they don't have to do much else." Experimenting with different types of people is vital for a relationship because it allows someone to know what type of person is best suited for them. Wesley Snipes' character is far from wealthy but builds a tight bond with Lathan's character that goes beyond lust. The film Disappearing Acts is a great film and I'm glad that it's shown in the RSLM course.
The article titled "The Analytical Categories of the Philosophy of Sex" raises an interesting point by stating "Our moral evaluations of sexual activity are often affected by our views about the nature of the sexual impulse, or of sexual desire" (Soble,5). This quote caught my attention because many people will consider certain sexual acts (oral sex, anal sex, group sex, etc) to be improper for the sole reason of it being different from the type of sex they're used to.
A movie that I would recommend for this course is Jason's Lyric. This film shows romance in a realistic way. It shows that love requires persistence. The film also tells the viewer that "some people put up walls not to block others out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down."
A song that I would recommend is Gotta Get You Home by Foxy Brown. This song would be amazing for the theme of sex. It tells a story of two people who want to have sexual relations with each other but they both approach each other with romance and respect. This song doesn't show the guy aggressively approaching the woman, but rather both people romancing each other while making it clear what their intentions are. The song gives the listener a feeling that this "one night stand" may end up becoming a healthy relationship. This song can be useful during the theme of romance because it tells people that sex is okay and there is no problem with the intention but there can be a problem with the approach. A healthy sexual relationship requires respect.

My name is Sebastien Prudent and a film that I love in the romance, sex, love and marriage course is Loves Jones. The film love jones very well defines the stages of a relationship that develops into a full stage of love over the course of several years. The introduction to love can be a thrilling yet scary experience. It takes you on a roller coaster of emotions that can throw you off but make you comeback for another ride. The relationship that developed between the two main characters Nina and Darius went through the stages of romantic love, which I thought was what every new couple goes through.

A movie I would recommend for this course would be The Ugly Truth (2009, Director Robert Lukectic). It is a film that covers the realities of love and romance where specific roles you play can get you what you want. A female producer who’s morning show is on the line ends up having to work with a popular television show host that gives romantic advice to women. On the side of that, the same television host helps the producer’s romantic life by helping her snag up another man. As unexpected, the two end up falling for each other without roles or fake personalities. This film is about opening up to one another and loving someone for the real person that they are, not because of the fantasy role they play to satisfy the other partner.
Another film I would recommend is The Best Man (1999, Director Malcom D. Lee). This film goes into marriage, as Lance (Morris Chestnut) is ready to tie the knot with Mia (Monica Calhoun) but secrets arise as a book written by Harper Stewart (Taye Diggs) gets published and ties into the past where things happened. The film reflects all aspects of Romance, Sex, Love and Marriage as it tells the stories of close friends and their relationships. It is a great film to discuss how love can sustain or be nothing more than temporary.

A song I would recommend for the course is Lotus Flower Bomb, by Wale featuring Miguel. This song is about first encounter and the fantasy of being in love. More so the song is about the possibilities of love romance or sex as Wale raps to a woman, about being anything that she wants for him to be. Wale talks about unveiling apart of you to someone and living in that vast moment of passion. In reference the name of the song lotus flower bomb derives from two sources. The lotus flower is from Greek mythology where it is a plant that has you inebriated and kept for an eternity. Flower bomb is a fragrance that Wale remembers a woman that would always put on. So Wale relates this to a relationship being discovered, when you are in that moment you feel nothing else but the person you are with.

Hello my name is Veronika Waibel. And I would recommend Chasing Amy; in the film Holden McNeil was having a conversation with Alyssa Jones while they were sitting on some swings at a playground. They were discussing sexual encounters both Holden and Alyssa were discussing what they should be and what they mean. Clark-Flory notes in the article “In Defense of Casual Sex, “I’ve found that casual sex can be healthy and normal and lead to better adult relationships …It’s just that hookup culture is not the radical extreme it is so frequently mischaracterized as in the media.” Holden and Alyssa both have different opinions on sexual encounter.
The first film I would recommend is Love and Other Drugs (2010, directed by Edward Zwick). I would show this movie while discussing love. The two main characters are named Jamie Randall and Maggie Murdock. Maggie has been suffering from Parkinson's disease when she meets Jamie. Maggie befriends Jamie who is a drug rep working for Pfizer against 1990s Pittsburgh backdrop. The two of them begin to spend a lot of time together. Jamie falls in love with Maggie while both of them are fully aware of Maggie’s condition. Maggie knows she is only going to become worse and wants Jamie to leave her along and to find someone else who is healthy. This film shows how great a loving relationship can be when both partners want the other one to be happy knowing the struggles that they will face.
The second film I would recommend is Havoc (2005, directed by Barbara Kopple). In this firm, two teenage girls (Allison and Emily) join a gang operated by Hector. The two girls beside that they want to join the gang. But to so, the two girls have to roll a dice to see how many from the gang they would have to have a sexual encounter with. Only after they complete this task will they be allowed to join the gang. Allison rolls one while Emily rolls four. The scene I would suggest to be watch in class would be of Allison having her sexual encounter. This would be best seen while the class is discussing the topic of sex.
Lastly, the song I would recommend would be Stereo Heart by Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine because it is a song is about a man telling a woman that he wants to be with her. I would use this song when discussing romance. While listening to the song, the lyrics are about a man declaring his feelings for a girl.

My name is Jacqueline and one of the film clips we watched in class, Chasing Amy, I would recommend to other readers. Chasing Amy relates to the theme of sexual orientation. In the scene played in class Ben Affleck’s character is having a conversation with Joey Lauren Adams character about what the definition of sex is. Joey Lauren Adams character is a lesbian and Ben Affleck’s character doesn’t agree with what her definition of sex is. Ben Affleck’s character believes in the conventional definition of sex and is not really open any other ideas, opinions, or views.

One film that I would recommend using in class is The Notebook (released in 2004, directed by Nick Cassavetes). It could definitely relate to all four themes (romance, love, sex, and marriage) that are discussed in class. This is a story about a passionate summer romance that between Rachel McAdam’s character and Ryan Gosling’s character. Their romance ends ultimately because of their social differences. Rachel McAdam’s character is from a very wealthy family while Ryan Gosling’s character is referred to as “trash, trash, trash” by Rachel McAdam’s characters family. Years go by and Rachel McAdam’s character is engaged to another man but when Ryan Gosling’s character appears back into her life it was like their summer romance never ended. This is a great film to use to discuss any of the themes.

Another film that I would recommend using in class is Jungle Fever (released in 1991, directed by Spike Lee). In this film a relationship between Wesley Snipes’ character and Anabella Sciorra’s character is formed. The relationship is between a white woman and a black man and the couple encounters many problems because of this. For example the couple went to a restaurant and Wesley Snipes’ character complains to a waitress because they have not been served and the waitress scolds him for dating a white woman. In another scene Wesley Snipes’ family refuse to have dinner with the couple after they moved in together because they do not approve of their relationship.

One song that I would recommend for the RSLM course is Nice and Slow by Usher. In this song I definitely can see the elements of sex and romance and possibly love. I chose this song because I think the lyrics are really sensual and seductive. The lyrics to part of the chorus are “Let me take you to a place nice and quiet, There ain’t no one there to interrupt, ain’t gotta rush, I just want to take it nice and slow.” I like how the lyrics in this song are describing that sex and/or relationships should be taken slow

A film that I would reccommend to those who have not seen it is, like others have suggested, "He's Just Not That Into You". I saw it in bits and pieces while on break while working at Regal Cinemas, and immediately knew that I had to see it in its entirety. This film is an amalgam of many elements of the romantic human relationship smashed into a tight 129 minute package. Certainly worth watching, as it shows an intellectually and morally diverse selection of individuals (although they're all around the same age and socio-economic class) and their romantic exploits with each other. I believe that this film shows diversity of a little explored sector in film, Romance. A discussion about "diversity" commonly includes topics such as Age, Race, Sex, Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Nationality. The diversity in this film is not based on these topics, but on a difference in beliefs within inter-personal relationships. Without spoiling the film for those who haven't seen its entirety, it's a bit like the film "Crash" but twisted into a romantic theme.

The film "Up In The Air" is a film which is not in the syllabus which would be good to show during the Romance section of the course. It stars George Clooney and Vera Farmiga, two adults whose paths happen to cross and spark an odd romantic relationship of sorts, with intersparsed communication and flipping back and forth between a romantic relationship and a purely sexual relationship in the eyes of both characters. The movie showcases reversal of the roles of the stereotypical masculine and feminine in a relationship.

Many of the songs which have been featured in our class have been geared towards the Sex theme of the class. I suggest a bit of a diversion to Love with the song "Walk" by the Foo Fighters. It entails themes of the "getting back on the horse" coloquialism and would fit under the Love section of the course.


My name is Nick Furnia and a film that I really connected to in the romance, sex, love and marriage course and that I would very much recommend is, What Women Want. The film itself speaks volumes for the complexities that are involved in any kind of relationship, especially one
that is sexual in nature. A sexual experience with your partner can be characterized by a great assortment of different feelings and/or emotions, but one thought holds true for many, and that is,"Am I doing a good job?"
In the film, the character played by Mel Gibson finds out the answer to this question during a sexual encounter due to the fact that he can actually hear what women are thinking. The fact of the matter is that every relationship is distinctly unique from another, so to judge ones
performance based solely on prior dating/sexual experiences is illogical and this film allowed me to view this sentiment in a comical context.

A film that I would also recommend is called, The Vow (2012, directed by Michael Sucsy), which stars Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. In this movie, Tatum and McAdams get married and are living a very pleasant and happy life with one another until a devastating car accident leaves McAdams with severe memory loss, unable to remember hardly anything from her life, including her husband. To summarize what happens, Tatum is left trying to get his wife to fall in love with him all over again. The film goes to great lengths in portraying what love and romance really entail, how devastating both can be, and how each can persuade the actions of an individual, which is why this movie would go great in the class.

Another film that I would recommend is called The Notebook (2004, directed by Nick Cassavetes). The film portrays a teenage female from a wealthy family, played by Rachel McAdams, and a poor teenage male, played by Ryan Gosling, who fall in love one summer but are eventually separated because of their social differences. I feel that this movie would go well with the romance, sex, love and marriage class because not only does it delve deeply into the complexities that are involved in love and romance, but it also brings the issue of classism into perspective and shows how much of an influence it can have on the relationships of certain individuals. In the article, “The Dialect of Sex”, author Shulmith Firestone writes, “Thus love is the height of selfishness…” I believe this excerpt goes well with the film because neither character settled for anyone else because they knew in their hearts what they really wanted, even McAdams’ character, who had to break off an engagement with someone else in order to be with Gosling.

A song that I would recommend for the class is called, “How to Love,” by Lil Wayne. The song describes a woman who always had to question her self-worth due to the fact that men always took advantage of her outer appearance and never really cared for who she was on the inside, and Lil Wayne, seeing who she really is as a person, raps about showing her “how to love.”

Hello, my name is Francesca. The first film that comes to mind for me Is Chasing Amy. The clip in the park is perfect for the sexual orientation theme. The male character Holden, insists that men and women together is the "standard". I really like this scene, because It shows that not every homophobic individual is overt or hateful about their feelings. Holden for instance is obviously not turned off by the idea but is rather oblivious, close minded and ignorant towards any sexual relations that differ from his. In this mans mind he really believes that if I woman has not had had sex with a male, she is still a virgin. This scene shows that sexism and the norms created about sexual orientation, are truly imbedded into the minds of many individuals, causing it to play out in many aspects of society.
A movie that I would recommend is a documentary called Jonestown: Life and Death of Peoples Temple.(Stanley Nelson 2006) This is an eye opening film about the one and only Jim Jones. It shows how the subordination and oppression of a specific group ( class, gender, sexual orientation, race, religion) has the ability to make many people feel so vulnerable, that an individual can actually brainwash them to the most extreme extent. It shows the damaging results of oppression on individuals but also an entire society as well. This is a film that really is worth watching and will make anyone say, '"Did this actually happen?" The sad part is that it did, and not too long ago. Another movie I would also suggest is Blood Diamond. This is not only one of the best movies I've ever seen but It tells an amazing story about a man and his family living in Africa. The movie is based on actual events taking place over the the value of these diamonds. It absolutely shows how race and class work together. This man probably would have never found his family if he didn't have help from and white man (Leonardo Dicaprio). This depicts white dominance and how it still plays a role in many aspects of society. I Think a really great song for the love and sex theme is "The Rain Song" by Led Zeppelin. Any Led Zeppelin song is a sexy one, simply because of Robert Plants amazing vocals. But this song in itself is so calming and beautiful. It is short, sweet and subtle and shows that sometimes it doesn't take to many words to express love and sex and their changes.

I disagree with your take on Rude Boy, Melissa. When i hear the song i think of Rihanna challenging the guy to show her what he's really sexually about. I hear her saying she is going to give herself to him if he takes control because she likes being sexually dominated. In this case, I don't see that as a bad thing I just see it as a turn-on of hers.

Hello my name is Damali. One of my favorite films shown in the Romance class happens to be the film He’s Just Not that Into You. Beth was longing for a next step in her relationship with Neil. She wanted marriage with him and he simply didn’t want that. In fact, she settles and respects Neil’s views on marriage. Beth was so distracted in her attraction to Neil that she put off her views because she was so in love with him. She notices that her dreams of wanting to be married never changed because that is what her heart truly wanted. She wasn’t able to change his mind at all because he just is not interested in the idea of marriage. I think this scene shows how our expectations of relationships coincide with what society does. Society tells us that marriage is necessary to a happy and fulfilling life. This immediately marginalizes those who don’t believe in marriage, often making them submit to the belief of marriage. In the article Conditions of Love, it states “but the romantic vision concentrates only on the opening stages of an encounter with another person… In fact the romantic emphasis on passion distorts one’s view of the long term.” This movie is just a confirmation that situations like these are possible.

The film- The Last Song (2010, Director Julie Anne Robinson) should be considered for the Romance portion of the RSLM course. Miley Cyrus’ character experiences her first love. Parts of the film focus on the two young people’s growth in their relationship, their obstacles, their downfall, and then their rise. I think this film would be good in the Romance theme because the movie depicts a very vivid vision of the beginning stages of a love, which I think is romance. Parts of this movie show lines that would tie into the privilege theme. Miley’s character, Ronnie falls in love with a fairly wealthy young man. She and her family are not as privileged as her first love.

The film Their Eyes were Watching God (2005, Director Darell Martin) also should be considered for the RSLM Course. I think it would more fit in the Marriage theme of the class. The main character Janie, is in multiple marriages throughout the film. Her first marriage was more of her being treated as a domestic worker, her second marriage was controlling and verbally abusive. This can be an example of how real life marriages work.

A song I would recommend for the course would be “Ambitious Girl” by Wale. This song is a short poem describing his imagination of a person who he would want to be in a relationship with. He paints the picture of a strong college educated woman who aspires to be someone. He continues to describe how she is chasing her dreams and he isn’t going to stop that. If she doesn’t have that particular work ethic or stature he just would rather continue to dream on about his fantasy. I think this would be best in the love theme, as it is a very short poem. It could be a great example on what some people’s expectations are in a relationship.

Hello Everyone,

My name is Josephine Gonzalez and so far “He’s Just Not That Into You” is one of my favorite films in class. I would definitely recommend the scene where the character that plays Jennifer Aniston is overwhelmed with waiting for something that she knows deep down may never happen. In the clip you can see the amount of time and energy she has invested into a relationship she believed to be “forever”. Sadly, the “forever” was put on hold because her perception and display of love doesn’t go hand in hand with her partner’s perception and display of love. Does it mean he doesn’t love her? Not at all but his expectations of love are different. Later on we find out that his display of love is not enough for Jennifer Aniston’s character. The dilemma Jennifer Aniston’s character is in is very relatable because sometimes love isn’t enough. As humans, our feelings about love are so elusive we begin to create expectations. Most of the times these expectations are spoken, sometimes they’re subliminal and other times they go unspoken in hopes that our partner will “figure it out”. For example in About Love, Solomon states “the future is so uncertain; emotions are so unpredictable. And to keep it going they both would have to take serious personal risks and make considerable sacrifices”. This scene is a perfect example of the complexity of love. In order to make this relationship work someone is going to have to sacrifice their perception of love. Someone is going to have to change their expectations. I think this clip resonates with me because I feel like love is never a balance. Someone always has to sacrifice. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think when one scarifies you become the loser or pushover. In love, the risks and sacrifices one takes for their lover is out of compassion—but then I ask myself are these risks and sacrifices taking away from my happiness. If my partners happy, I’m happy. Or do you disagree?

A movie I would recommend for the class would be “Love Me If You Dare” (2003, Director Yann Samuell). It’s a love story between the son of wealthy Belgian parents and the daughter of poor Polish immigrants. Their life-long friendship develops into an emotional rollercoaster they both can’t control. As young kids they played dares on each other. As they got older the game of dares became the game of their unspoken love for one another. Sadly, their dares also imposed a large amount of emotional pain. The dares continued even after being separated for 10 years, being married with different partners, having children etc. For some reason they always found their way back to each other. I think this will be a good film for class because we could explore the “tragic ending of love”. Can love survive distance, pain, and humiliation?

Another film that would be interesting to watch would be “En la Cama” (2005, Director Matías Bize). It’s about these two strangers who end up having a one night stand. Despite being strangers their conversation, interactions, and playfulness seems more than just casual sex. This would be a good film to discuss in class because it breaks down the dynamic between love and sex. In this film sex is used as a tool of emotional connection and relationship building.

A song I would suggest for the class would be by Sade called “No Ordinary Love”. For one Sade is a beautiful singer and she definitely knows how to set the mood. This song is a perfect example of a love gone wrong- a love that is unexplainable. Painful loves that one can’t let go of.

“When you came my way you brightened everyday with your sweet smile” A love that gave her hope all of a sudden shed all this pain on her. It took everything she had to offer and despite the pain she still can’t forget the love she once felt. Again, this represents the elusive nature of love, affection and desire. Is her “ordinary love” lust or “reel” love?

My name is Taylor-Dawn E. There are two movies that I fell in love with in this class. One movie is “Disappearing Acts.” I originally saw “Disappearing Acts” in African-American culture class and it was once of the few movies that I actually went out of my way to see the full movie. I like it for both classes because it not only illustrates the constant conflicts that men and women face in a relationship from the time of meeting, to the first time the couple makes love, but it also focuses on the mindset of females and males of color in their journeys toward their futures. It also shows a good dialogue of four Black women discussing their requirements in a relationship and marriage. The other movie I would recommend to anyone is “Love Jones” because it is a perfect movie to illustrate the real life issues in a relationship. In Love Jones, Darius (Larenz Tate) and Nina (Nia Long) struggle to figure out if they are committed to one another or just engaging in a casual sex relationship. Also, the characters are not stereotypical Black men and women. The careers, within the plot, range from the arts to education.
One movie that I think would work well under the theme of “Romance, Sex, Love, and Marriage” is the 1995 drama “Waiting to Exhale.” The all woman cast struggle with individual problems regarding their relationships with their significant others. Savannah (Whitney Houston) reverts back to an affair with a married man. Bernie (Angela Bassett) is in a dwindling marriage, that produced two children, which ultimately ends in divorce. Robin (Lela Rochon), the youngest of the bunch, is a professional career woman who is the life long mistress of Russell (Leon). Even after her emotional rollercoaster of a relationship, she still struggles to find a good man. Lastly, Gloria (Loretta Devine), is the single mother of a teenage son who recently indulged in a relationship with her neighbor. She is faced with a few dilemmas after she finds out that her son’s father is gay and her current boyfriend is willing to give guidance to her growing son. Control is a major issue within their relationship as Gloria’s boyfriend tires to assist her with guidance for her son from a man’s point of view. One other movie that would work well is “ATL”. Some parts of the movie examine the life of a Southern young woman who is living a privilege lifestyle in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. The plot twist is: She portrays herself as a woman from the hood because she is ashamed of her well upbringing. The young lady is in a relationship with a man from the other side of town who is unaware of her privileged lifestyle and has fallen in love with the person she portrays herself to be. Deceit and betrayal is apparent in their relationship.
A song that should be in the “Romance, Sex, Love, and Marriage” play list is “So Beautiful,” by Musiq Soulchild. The lyrics that resonate the most with me are, “...I wanna give all my love to you girl. Not just tonight but for the rest of your life. I wanna be always here by your side.” “So Beautiful” is a rhythm and blues song sung whose narrator is in love with the woman of his dreams. He makes references to marriage as well as the “imaginary love” that we read about it Conditions of Love by Armstrong. He also repeats, “Girl don’t you know your so beautiful.” Showing the importance of physical attraction in his idea of attraction.

My name is Lyndie Gallo, and a movie that I would suggest from my Romance, Sex, Love and Marriage class would be the movie Bound. The movie Bound exemplifies aspects of romance, sex and marriage. In the film the characters played by Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon had a romantic relationship, however, Jennifer Tilly’s character was also married. The movie is a perfect example of how complicated relationships can be. Diversity is represented in this film through sexual orientation and class. In terms of sexual orientation the movie is a good example of how people can be ignorant. Jennifer’s husband got mad when he thought she was alone with a man but when he saw it was a woman he calmed down. It never crossed his mind his wife could have an affair with a woman. The difference in class also comes into play because Jennifer was very wealthy while Gina was working as maintenance.
One movie I would suggest is The Vow. I think that this is a good film because it supports topics of love and marriage. In the film there is a married couple that gets into a car accident and the wife loses her memory. She no longer knows who her husband is and doesn’t remember ever being married. The film shows the struggles of having a marriage that is lacking love as the husband tries to get the wife to fall in love with him all over again. “Love is a passion – an emotion – and falling in love is one of the most potent and dramatic emotional experiences we ever have” (Blind Cupid, Pg. 83). The movie was extremely emotional because it showed how the husband loves her so much and has all this passion for her and she doesn’t even know him. It is also very emotional for her to try and love a stranger.
Another movie I would suggest is the movie Ghost. I think it is a good example of how hard it can be to move on when your spouse passes on. You can be so in love with someone and base your whole world on them and then their gone and you don’t know what to do.
A song I suggest is Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra. The song proposes that love and marriage go hand in hand, and that you can’t have one without the other. I thought this was a good song because I think a lot of people would disagree with the idea that you can’t have love without marriage and you can’t have marriage without love.

Hello my name is Shanese Patterson and the film that I would recommend people to watch that we have seen in class is Disappearing Acts with Wesley Snipes and Sanaa Lathan. The film really allows us to take a look into many ways that African American people deal with relationships and issues that come about in their relationship. We always get to see many forms of Caucasian relationships in the romantic comedies that are always in theaters but we don’t really get so see much how Black people handle situations and the things going through their heads (Race). In Disappearing Acts we see the struggle of Wesley Snipes and Sanaa Lathan’s characters talk about the money issues they are having (Soco-Economic Class). Yes they had sex without really knowing each other that well but that’s normal. “I’ve found that casual sex can be healthy and normal and lead to better adult relationships.” (In Defense of Casual Sex, by Tracy Clark-Flory) Which are a two of the themes we touch on in the Diversity course, but you usually in the romantic comedies the characters are successful most of the time and usually don’t have a care in the world they are just trying to find the man of their dreams. Giving many people a different way of seeing relationship issue would be interesting because I think, though all relationships are different I believe black relationships are sometimes looked at as negative and I think showing that movie will bring some positivity to African American relationships.
A movie I would recommend for the class is Coming to America (1988 Director: John Landis) I believe this movie touches on love and marriage but it also touches on the different themes of Socio-Economic Class, and privilege. Eddie Murphy’s character Ackeem is trying to find a bride in NYC. He is a wealthy prince from Africa but lies about his wealth to impress the girl of his dreams.
The last movie I would recommend for the Diversity course is Jungle Fever (1991 Director: Spike Lee) this movie touches on the theme of Race heavily. In it shows the attraction that two people have but is looked at as a problem because their races are different.
A song I would recommend for the RSLM course is Love You Gently by Usher. I think the song would go with the Love, Sex or Marriage theme. I think the song is very sexy because he’s talking about how he wants to please her in the bedroom also that she has the opportunity to be in control. Also he talks about how he knows what she likes. I think it’s a good song because all women likes for a man to take control sometimes without having to tell them what to do in the bedroom.

I disagree with you Nate Hill, after listening to the song “Walk” by the Foo Fighters I do not see anything about sex, love or anything about “getting back on the Horse” in this song. After a couple of hours of thinking what the words meant to me I came up with the conclusion that this song is about the adventure someone has to face at the end of a relationship. Many individuals have been in the situation when a relationship ends and they begin to feel like they are lost and do not know themselves anymore without their ex- partner, as if they have lost their identity. “Walk” is a song about relearning who you are as in individual.

Hi, my name is Stacey Harris and one of my favorite quotes from the readings is from Conditions of Love, more specifically Imagination where John Armstrong states, “Without imagination there would be no such thing as love.” In the movie, He’s Just Not That into You, every situation was built on the thought of what love is or what love is supposed to be like. I would recommend He’s Just Not That into you because throughout the whole movie they exemplified what does it mean to be in love or what defines marriage from different perspectives (A married couple who’s lost romance, a single woman looking for love, a love triangle, and a couple debating whether or not marriage would make their love any less real). Other than the few clips we watched, the whole movie is full of romance, sex, love and marriage or the lack thereof. Within the movie, they also have a couple of scenes about homosexuality. It would be an interesting discussion in EDTF to point out the stereotypes the movie has placed on homosexuals.
I would also recommend Love Jones of course, not because it’s one of my favorite movies, but because the clip that we saw in class reshaped my whole thinking when it comes to romance and relationships. “Romance is about the possibility of the thing. You see, it's about the time between when you first meet the woman, and when you first make love to her; when you first ask a woman to marry you, and when she says I do. When people who been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they're really saying is they've exhausted the possibility.” Darius explained romance and love in a nutshell. When you fully understand something, explaining it is simple. I think the whole movie should be shown in class (even though that is a stretch), but only because when watching from an analytical point of view, it stirs up many questions about love and marriage, especially in the black community.
One of my favorite movies of ALL TIME that touches on Romance, Love, Sex and Marriage is Waiting to Exhale, directed by Forest Whitaker (1995). It’s a story about four African American women that go through different stages of love and romance in their lives. There’s Savannah (Whitney Houston), who is a 30 something successful producer who is single because she’s waiting for the love of her life to get a divorce, Gloria (Loretta Divine) who is a hair dresser and a single mother because her husband divorced her after finding out he was gay, Bernadine (Angela Bassett) who put her career on hold be a mother and play the supportive wife role for 11 years to find that her husband was cheating on her and leaving her for a white woman, and finally Robin (Lela Rochon) who plays a mistress for her longtime lover, Russell until she finally decides to leave him after becoming pregnant. Great story plot right? I know. One scene that would be great to show in class (either RSLM or EDTF) would be the infamous scene where Bernie is throwing out all of her husband’s stuff. Her rant and her actions can be used in the context of race, because she mentions numerous occasions that her husband isn’t black, Sex, where she states how many times they had sex and how many times they actually made love, and Love, where she’s discussing how many years she put into their marriage and how screwed up he is for leaving his family.
Another movie that would be good for RSLM is Crazy, Stupid, Love directed by by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa (2011). Cal (Steve Carell) and Emily (Julianne Moore) have been married for over 20 years. But their perfect life comes to a halt when Emily reveals to Cal that she cheated on him with her coworker, David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon) and wants a divorce. Cal is heartbroken but gives his wife what she wants. He goes to a bar and gets extremely drunk, complaining about his wife, where he meets a young man named Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling) who is a womanizer and decides to take him under his wing. This romantic comedy- drama is good to show in class because it deals with the complexities of marriage and the loss of romance. A clip that I think would be great to show is when Jacob is trying to get Cal back in the saddle. He makes different references to love and to his manhood and why he should forget about his wife and move on.
Finally, one song I would recommend for RSLM is Demonstrate by Jojo (Not Jojo from Kci & Jojo). I would recommend using this song for the sex section of the RSLM course because during the song she’s talking about the sexual things she’s imagining and what she wants to do to her counterpart, but she can only demonstrate not tell him. Her voice is seductive and so is the beat, so the listeners would be able to understand where she’s coming from and why she feels so sexual.

Nick: I disagree with using How to Love by Lil Wayne. This song typically portrays single mothers and women strippers as less desirable women. And Lil Wayne objectifies the young woman he's trying to "save," from making this "bad" decision in her life.

In the article Romantic Roles by Robert C. Solomon, it stated how “Romantic Roles consist almost entirely of rituals of expression, appreciation, seduction; whether the usual quiet dinner, loving looks and gift of flowers or the more spectacular poetic offering or death defying demonstration of devotion. Romantic roles require leisure time together, time alone together, exclusive time not to be shared or repeated with anyone else”. This happens to be one of my favorite quotes and relates to the movie “Disappearing Acts”, that we observed in RSLM. I recommend this movie because it relates not just to romance, love and sex; but to race, gender and privilege through diversity. Wesley Snipes character has shown what struggles Black men go through in order to succeed in life. He said to Sanaa Lathan’s character “If you’re looking for a man who has a fat bank account and all that, I’m not the one”; not a lot of men will bluntly come out and admit that to someone that they are involved with.

Two movies I would recommend for Romance, Sex, Love and Marriage are “Poetic Justice” (John Singleton, 1993) and “Not Easily Broken” (Bill Duke, 2009). In “Poetic Justice”, love and romance play an important role through Janet Jackson’s character and Tupac Shakur’s character. They are two young individuals who are attracted to each other but their past eventually came into conflict with each other. Towards the end of the movie they put their past behind them and ultimately started a relationship together. In “Not Easily Broken”, love, romance and marriage play an important role through the characters of Morris Chestnut and Taraji P. Henson. These two characters marriage goes through a bumpy rollercoaster and causes them to distant themselves from one another and catch feelings for other outside of their marriage. This movie shows how communication is a crucial key in any relationship and without it issues will arise.

The song I recommend for RSLM is “Dive” by Usher because he compares sex to the act of swimming and anything related with water. In the song he just doesn’t focus on having sex alone because it’s very obvious he also has a strong feeling of love for this person as well. He says in the song:
“Can't help it, no
I want you to feel me
Every little bit of me baby
I don't need a life saver
Baby going deeper ain't gon kill me
And I love the rush you get from me
I see the walls are looking like they might precipitate
Until I'm in so deep, it's up to my waist
But I promise girl I ain't afraid”
In this section of the 2nd verse of his song he states that he is more than willing to take a risk in achieving gratification no matter how messy the outcome can get. He also states it’s his pleasure to make sure his loved one/ partner is more than satisfied in every sexual aspect possible with his clever and seductive marine-like wordplay.

Tyler, I see Rihanna as a woman with multiple identities. In “Rude Boy” I believe she is telling the truth about what she wants from the man in the song as well as what she can give herself. BUT, I don’t see her as a one-sided figure. She doesn’t JUST want to be sexually dominated. As stated above she sings about how she wants to see if he’s big enough, like she wants to be in control. But then, the feel of the song changes when she talks about letting him do his thing. Does she no longer want to be in control? There are many ways to interpret the song and I just see it a little differently then you.

I’m not sure if you’ve heard “S&M” by Rihanna, but I suggest you look it up if you haven’t. I believe in that particular song she is asking to be sexually dominated. Well, maybe she wants to be the dominator too, I’m not sure. Again, even in that song, I see Rihanna as having many wants, and many ideas, not just one.

We cannot just assume a person is only one thing, or way. They can have many ideas, thoughts, characteristics that change on a daily basis. Rihanna and her songs are just one example of this.

I agree with you Sebastien on your intake of playing Lotus Flower Bomb in class. I love that song and its concept on love and romance. It even relates to the movie I put in my post that I recommend to be watched in RSLM “Poetic Justice”, they both shared the same idea.

Veronika,
I am happy you chose to use the film Love and Other Drugs (2010, directed by Edward Zwick). This is one of my favorite movies; the story line is romantic, heart-felt, and sexy. I believe it is important to show the imperfections in people, and understanding that not every love story is perfect. So many times we see the typical love story, a man and a woman fall in love and it’s the hearts and flowers type of romance. Yet, this movie takes you on a ride of emotions, and it is seems real. This movie was eye opening and made me put myself in Anne Hathaway’s characters spot, what would you do in that situation? In addition to the main plot, I love how the film explores some deeper issues of the health care system, and family issues. If you have not seen it, I would recommend watching it!

In addition to Asher's post on the film "What Women want", I also believe the character Mel Gibson’s plays gives us insight on how much our self confidence depends on the thoughts of others. Throughout the film he felt like “the man” when women thought he was handsome, funny, smart, good in bed etc. However once he heard a negative thought he quickly became distressed and found any way possible to “fix” himself. I connect this behavior to the beginning stages of romance, when you’re first starting to meet someone sometimes false expectations develop because we want the person to have “good thoughts” of us. We want to appear smooth, sexy, mysterious etc. so we try to satisfy the needs of others once we know what they want/like. If the person we’re attracted to likes what they see, our confidence increases and makes us more comfortable in the process of romance. I’m not saying this is the case for all relationships, but I think at one point everyone pretended to be something they’re not in order to gain someone’s attention and feel better about themselves like the character Mel Gibson’s plays. It can range from being interested in a sport, changing your clothing style or changing the way you talk etc.

In addition to Asher's post on the film "What Women want", I also believe the character Mel Gibson’s plays gives us insight on how much our self confidence depends on the thoughts of others. Throughout the film he felt like “the man” when women thought he was handsome, funny, smart, good in bed etc. However once he heard a negative thought he quickly became distressed and found any way possible to “fix” himself. I connect this behavior to the beginning stages of romance, when you’re first starting to meet someone sometimes false expectations develop because we want the person to have “good thoughts” of us. We want to appear smooth, sexy, mysterious etc. so we try to satisfy the needs of others once we know what they want/like. If the person we’re attracted to likes what they see, our confidence increases and makes us more comfortable in the process of romance. I’m not saying this is the case for all relationships, but I think at one point everyone pretended to be something they’re not in order to gain someone’s attention and feel better about themselves like the character Mel Gibson’s plays. It can range from being interested in a sport, changing your clothing style or changing the way you talk etc.

Hello all, my name is Jen Mikol and a movie from the Sex, Love , Romance, and Marriage class that I would recommend seeing is Chasing Amy (1997, Directed by Kevin smith). This movie takes the mind to new places on the topics of sex, love, romance, and sexuality. While I do not wish to give away the movie, the plot is about three individuals played by Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, and Joey Lauren Adam. At a convention Ben Affleck’s character becomes infatuated with Joey Lauren Adam’s character Alyssa. As the film progresses you discover that Adams character is a lesbian. There is a powerful scene that steps into the realm of lesbian love making. The movie progresses in numerous different dimensions, which I believe are enlightening and eye opening. This film should be approached with an open mind, if that happens the things you will learn about sex, love and romance of both heterosexuals and homosexuals is mind blowing.
A film that should be shown in class is a classic is the film with Nick Cannon and Christina Milian, Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003, Directed by Troy Beyer).In the article Perils, Solomon states “The problem with attraction is that it is still only perception and expectations, not experience, and what excites us in its promise may turn out to be disastrous in practice.” This quote captures the main idea of the film. This film has numerous stereotypical roles that should be broken down. The film revolves around the idea of popularity, class ability and love. Nick Cannon’s character is from a middle class family, he is a hard working high school nerd who falls in love with Milian’s character, an upscale popular girl. In the beginning of the film Milian’s character treats Cannon as if he is worthless. However, after a quick turn of events both their worlds are changed. She begins to see that true love knows no bounds; while Cannons character is playing the player role, and learns the hard way. In the end, this film has numerous dimensions of how money can be power, idealistic love, typical stereotypes, and the power of infatuation.
Another classic film would be Pretty Woman (1990 directed by Greg Marshall). Richard Gere and Julia Roberts unlikely romantic affair turns into a learning experience for both of them. Roberts’s character being a hooker while Gere’s character plays a high end CEO; they could not be more different. After Gere’s friend finds out that Roberts’s character is a hooker, he attempts to make moves on her, completely disrespecting her and his friend/co-worker. Gere’s character finds out about this and is outraged. Stronger feeling begin to develop between Gere and Roberts characters’. There are many different ways to look at this movie. It is sexual, romantic, and witty. A lot can be said for the love affair and surround plot line, it is defiantly one for the books.
A song that would be great to analyze is Lupe Fiascos new song “Bitch Bad” It is all about how society uses that word, and how it is socialized into our culture. In the article Imagination by Armstrong, he states “left long enough in such charged atmosphere the image of the beloved becomes successively covered with thoughts of this kind, until it would hardly be recognized as an image of them by a neutral observer”. This quote could not be more direct to this song. The song is powerful and sadly true. It goes into the ideas of how woman think that being a “bad bitch” is a good thing, and embrace that as sexy, because of how we as humans have been socialized.

Taylor, it is compelling that you chose the film ATL. The scene of Lauren London's character Nunu's interaction with her boyfriend's friend is the most striking of them all. Nunu battles double consciousness because she is battling fitting in as a privileged woman of color and being in a relationship with a less privileged man. Her fight for their love is what makes me also believe that this film should be included in the Romance course. Her battling of both worlds is another reason why it should be considered for the EDTF class too.

My name is Liz. Hi everyone!
The film from class that I would recommend to other readers is “Chasing Amy” (1997, Director Kevin Smith). It is not shy when it speaks of any of the themes of romance, sex, love, and marriage and touches on the complications that may be faced when someone doesn’t comply with their gender roles or doesn’t choose to be strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual.
One film that is not shown in class that I would like to recommend is “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” (2001, Director John Cameron Mitchell), which is a film about a transgender woman from East Berlin who describes life and her search for her other half through song. It refers to some interesting ideas pertaining to romance, sex and love as well as depicting some of the struggles a person who is transgender has to overcome to be accepted those areas. A quote from the book “Philosophy of Sex” by Alan Soble says “People who are caught up in sexual desire can be easily exploited and manipulated.” Hedwig, who is played by John Cameron Mitchell, unfortunately finds out that this statement is true.
Another movie I would recommend is “The Ugly Truth” (2009, Director Robert Luketic). It is a comedy, but brings up some interesting strategies people might use in the game of romance and sex. The character played by Gerard Butler is the romance coach to the character played by Katherine Heigl as they try to snag her a man using certain tactics that are based upon a stereotype of what all men want in women.
Finally, a song I would suggest is “What’s my Name?” by Rihanna and featuring Drake released in 2010. To me, everything about it sounds sexy and in the sex theme it could be a good depiction of our modern hook-up culture where people don’t even have to know each other’s name to have a good time sexually.

Veronika, I also enjoy the move “Love and Other Drugs,” however, I have to disagree with the happy and selfless picture you have painted about their situation. The way I perceived the situation was that she was so insecure about herself that she was selfishly kicking him out of her life. “Even if we are emotionally committed to one person, our sexual instincts will continue to behave as if in ignorance of this commitment.” This quote from the book “Conditions of Love” by John Armstrong refers to sexual desires and how they may conflict with emotional commitments and I think she is afraid that as she becomes more ill and less able-bodied, the internal conflict between his emotional attachment to her and his desire to be with someone that may be more sexually satisfying will become too great and he may leave her. Although it may initially seem like she is being selfless, she is very much thinking of herself and protecting herself from potential heartache. - Liz

I couldn’t agree more with miss Shanese, playing the film Coming to America would be great for the class. It is an excellent representation of finding love by getting to know some one and not their privilege and socio-economic class. I would have never thought to use that film and I’m glad that the connection was made. Also I agree with Shanese’s song choice, but not for the sections she suggested. I happen to know that song very well, and love it; however, I think I would recommend that song to be used in the late and early stages of romance and sex. That song is very sexy and it should be played after a nightcap with a date and in the mist of physical intimacy.

Hi, my name is Jasmine and considering the film clips that we have viewed and unpacked in class so far I would recommend the 1998 film, Out of Sight (directed by Steven Soderbergh). The film depicts the result of a man and woman who have an instant attraction to one another. Under ordinary circumstances their attraction would not be an issue but due to their social statuses, Karen being a US Marshall and Jack being a bank robber, their relationship becomes problematic. I chose this film for two reasons. My first would be that I enjoy the theme of this film, in that we cannot choose who we are attracted to and that every romantic relationship has its obstacles. Secondly, I really enjoyed the conversation that Jack and Karen had with one another after meeting up over a drink. Karen asks Jack if their situation makes any sense to him and he responds saying, “It doesn’t have to, it’s something that happens. It’s like seeing someone for the first time you could be passing on the street and you look at each other and for a few seconds it’s kind of a recognition like you both know something and in the next moment the person is gone and it’s too late to do anything about it. And you always remember it because it was there and you let it go. And you think to yourself “What if I had stopped? What if I had said something? What if?” I thought that this quote was very powerful because I believe that everyone has had a moment where they felt a connection with someone they were attracted to, never acted upon it and later question what may have been. This also taught me a lesson (not just pertaining to romance but all aspects of life) when an opportunity presents itself, seize it. If you fail or if it doesn’t work out, at least you know and can learn and grow from it, at least you don’t have to wonder about the possibilities.
One film that I would recommend to be used in future classes is the 1993 drama, A Bronx Tale, directed by Robert De Niro. A Bronx Tale is an amazing film because it touches on many aspects that could be discussed in various courses including: African American culture from 1865, Diversity through film and Philosophies on romance, sex, love and marriage. The film is focuses on a young Italian American named Calogero and his coming of age in the Bronx, New York during a time of severe racial tension, particularly between Blacks and Italian Americans. He is also torn between the morals taught by his father, a hard-working bus driver and the lessons he learns on attaining wealth via his friendship with the neighborhood gangster. Calogero also falls for a young Black girl from his school whom he sees on his father’s bus, their forbidden relationship give viewers an understanding of how serious racial tensions were then and what an interracial relationship may have been like in the past.
Another film I would recommend for this class would be Dakota Skye (2008, Directed by John Humbler). I watched this movie this past summer and I very much enjoyed it. I would choose this movie because it’s very similar to the movie What Women Want, where Mel Gibson gains the ability to hear the thoughts of women after falling and shocking himself. Yet Dakota was born with the ‘gift’ of knowing if people are lying or not. She indeliberately determines if her romantic partners, friends or even those who may simply be holding a conversation around her are lying or telling the truth. Her world is eventually turned upside down when she becomes enticed by her boyfriend’s visiting best friend who appears to never lie. I recommend this movie because I think everyone wants to find that one person who “rocks their world” mentally, physically and maybe even spiritually and he does this for her because he is so much different from what she considers normal. She then must choose between what is familiar to her (her boyfriend) or move on to someone new and unknown. A small detail I enjoyed about this movie was that although Dakota and her love interest were of two different backgrounds, they never felt the need to mention it. It was not a factor in their relationship.
Finally a song I would recommend for this class would be Sure Thing by Miguel. In this song he describes to his love interest how he will always be with her through a series of metaphors. In the beginning and ending hooks he sings:

“Love you like a brother,
Treat you like a friend,
Respect you like a lover.”

This quote is very moving because he incorporates aspects of other types of relationships into how he wants to treat the woman he’s in love with in their personal relationship, it seems as though he wants to give her everything. This song incorporates romance, sex, love with ease. He mentions how he has faith in their relationship and they handle anything together, which to me infers that even if he may not consider marriage he sees her in his distant future.

I agree with Mirza that the ER clip viewed in class is great for RSLM and EDTF. It definitely displays love and affection, as well as homosexuality and controversy. It is a powerful clip that provokes serious thought. I believe that despite the morally questionable issue at hand and health risks, this couple is clearly in love; they appear to obtain very strong feelings for one another. However, those feelings could be considered to exist for the wrong reasons, thus making this clip controversial.
A film that I would recommend to anyone that we watched in RSLM is Lust, Caution. Is it a foreign film, which automatically makes it diverse and different. The plot is very complex as well; female protagonist, Wei Tang, is involved in a situation where she must pretend to date/have a romantic relationship with a powerful and dangerous criminal, Tony Leung. Although she is initially faking her feelings of intimacy, the two proceed to engage in passionate love making. This film is also controversial, like the ER clip, but vividly displays sex and romance.

Hello all, my name is Nicole. A film that I think was a great selection for this class is Before Sunrise. It shows the diversity of love between cultures. Ethan Hawke’s character is a man from the United States and Julie Delpy’s character is a woman from France. Interestingly, the stereotype is that French people do not like Americans, and I love the fact that Celine (Delpy) goes against those norms and falls for Jesse (Hawke). The two characters shared a romance together, but who is to say they were not in love. Jesse’s boyish charm attracted Celine in a way that made her curious about how exactly they could spend time together in the one day he had left in Europe, and what could potentially sprout out of that limited time. The suspense of knowing that they may never see each other again made the romance even more exciting and passionate. The fact that Celine shied away from her society’s norm displays the fact that love doesn’t need to be found in the most obvious of places.
One movie I would suggest to show a clip from would be Titanic. The typical chick-flick, but there is no denying that Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Rose (Kate Winslet) are in love. Even though they did not know each other for more than three days they still slipped into a beautiful love affair. Rose is part of a high-class family, and is engaged to be the wife of Caledon Hockley, another very rich man. Jack, on the other hand, is a lower class man who won his ticket on the Titanic with a “very lucky hand” at poker. DiCaprio and Winslet eventually realize they are emotionally and physically attracted to each other and they form a close bond with one another. They have spontaneous, yet passionate sex and they decide they want to run off together after the film. Even though they had an extreme separation of classes they still wanted to pursue a life together in America. This again shows that love doesn’t need societal values to make the connection between lovers valuable.
Another movie I would suggest for this class is Friends With Benefits. In the film, Justin Timberlake’s character and Mila Kunis’ character decide to have sex with one another with no strings attached. They decide that no emotions will be allowed, but they will just strictly have sex to feed their desires. This movie shows the concept of hook-up culture that is more prominent in this generation. If our society were more just, the concept of “friends with benefits” would become a more accepting idea. In this case, the sex that Kunis and Timberlake’s character had leads them to love. Otherwise, having a strictly sexual relationship with someone could lead both individuals to realizing the type of lover they want to be, or the type of lover they want to be with. This would show diversity of romantic ideals and social justice of human values.
A song that talks about love and loving someone without the beloved loving them back is “White Blank Page” by Mumford and Sons. This is a switch up in music genre being that Mumford and Sons is a folk band. The song opens up with “Can you lie next to her and give her your heart?” The singer is singing to his lover asking her where was his fault by loving her with his whole heart and soul. He goes on to say that she “desired my attention but denied my affections.” Maybe she didn’t love him back as much as he needed to be. I like this song because the man is confessing his love to his lover even though she is not leading him to the truth he so desperately wants to find.

Donna: I would have suggested a country song, being that that's all I listen to. However, I have a feeling that would run contrary to the class vibe. I guess I'm not very good at interpreting rap music. Your disagreement is duly noted.

Stacey: Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) is a great movie to show in the RSLM class. I couldn't agree more with that choice. Many of the clips we view in class deal with how people fall in love, the ways in which romance plays a role in that process, and the actions that those individuals take while being in love. Crazy, Stupid, Love focuses heavily on complications that can arise when love and romance is lost in a relationship (in this case a marriage) and how this can alter a person's attitude and actions in order to cope with it.

Yes Jasmine I agree with you about the Miguel song "Sure Thing". Now many people think being in a relationship with someone is just about being a "boyfriend or girlfried" and it should be more than that. You should have a great friendship with the person you are in a relationship. Some people don't know what it's like to be in a relationship so they do the things they see on television or in movies and I believe the love between you and that person should be expressed in different relationship formats. It makes a more well rounded relationship.

Desiree, I agree with you on the song Diced Pineapples. After Lotus Flower Bomb that would've been the song I chose. The song itself is about intense passion and sex as well as sensuality and passiveness. It can put one at ease and has a feeling of comfort, enough comfort that it sends a message telling us not to be shameful with what we want in that moment.

At Nick, I agree 100% with The Notebook. I was going to suggest that movie but I saw you had already. The Notebook is about forbidden love between two teens that are from two different classes. The wealthy parents in the movie do not think that Gosling’s character is good enough for their daughter (McAdams). The romance the two teens share is innocent and pure. They had a summer love, that was later torn apart by an argument over how Gosling’s character Noah could not give McAdams character Allie “fancy things.” Years down the line they reunite and the compassion they had for each other comes sprouting through once again. This portrays the idea that true love never dies. In the end when McAdams chooses to be with Gosling for the rest of her life and not her rich fiancé, it displays that social norms do not matter when it comes to real love.

Jennifer Mikol mentioned the song "Bad Bitch" by Lupe and I'm a big fan of that song. I agree that this would be a great song to analyze because Lupe addresses the context of the word "bitch" and displays it in two lights. It's crucial for the youth to know the context of the words they use. Also, it's important to be open-minded enough to accept women that refer to themselves as "bad bitches". If a woman understands the context of the word and chooses to refer to herself as something, who are we to consider her actions as wrong?

Nick, I completely agree with you. Your two movie choices are unexpected because "most guys" don't like watching the stereotypical "chick flick" but, The Notebook and The Vow are two really good movie choices that would be great to show in this class. They both are two of my favorite movies, in which I admittedly cried during both of them when I first saw them because I really felt the romantic connection among the actors and within the story line. Both love stories have a happy ending although both couples endured many obstacles before they reached that point, and all everybody wants is that happily-ever-after. Both movies display love, romance, sex, and marriage, which is what the class is all about. As far as the song, How to Love by Lil Wayne, I think it's a great song choice as well because I like Lil Wayne as a rapper in general, but most of his songs are degrading to women. This song, however, is the opposite of his norm, and it shows a different side of him. The video shows the reality that many women face, but at the end, shows an alternative scenario of what could happen if a woman really knew how to love, "the right way."

Hello my name is Megan Valentin and one of the films that really resonated with me was the clip from Love Jones in which Larenz Tate’s character attempts to seduce, or at least grab Nia Long’s attention with a dedication poem. This film clip to me embodies a wide range of emotions that fit perfectly for the topics discussed in our RSLM course. I believe Tate’s character’s poem was romantic and exuded sex in a natural and earthy way. I believe this to be more of a romantic scene because his attempt of acknowledging his female counterpart was not done in a degrading way. Tate’s character used an artistic form of expression; poetry, to describe his raw emotions in a very open and honest way. In the article About Love: Romantic Love, Soloman states “Romantic love isn’t about sex (a common fallacy) but it depends upon sex, thrives upon sex, utilizes sex as its medium, its language and often its primary content.” I strongly agree with this statement because no matter how strong an emotional bond that love and romantic love may create, it is intrinsically sexual in its origin.
A film that we have not watched in class which I believe would be a good film to view and unpack is “Eat Pray Love” which was directed by Ryan Murphy and released in 2010. This film is based on the novel which is a true story of the author’s life experiences as they pertain to life, love, romance, heartbreak, divorce, and altogether reconciliation of oneself. This film and especially the novel is a very real depiction of what people go through when life “throws you curveballs”. This film also engages in topics of diversity by depicting the understanding and growth of love for different cultures, religions, and people.
A song that I would recommend using for RSLM would be “Pretty Lil’ Heart” by Robin Thicke. The lyrics and general melody of the song is very sensual and romantic. This song is written by a lover to his loved one asking questions to clarify the exclusiveness and future of their relationship. I believe this song would resonate well with either the topics of love and/or romance seeing as how it mentions both.

Nicole, I agree 100% with your recommendation on showing clips from Friends with Benefits in class. I really enjoyed that movie because it shed a different light on the term that more conservative people may cringe at. It was also less generic than typical romance movies and it directly related to the type of culture we're living in. The couple commnicated well (in the beginning) about everything they expected from their relationship and the relations that they would have together. Even during intimate moments they would actively communicate how they were feeling and what they wanted.

Nicole - I really like the song that you chose especially because it's quite a bit different from most of the songs that we hear in class. I also like the message of the song. The lyrics "you wanted my attention and denied my affection" shows that sometimes females can be the ones who are doing the leading on and not being honest. Good song choice.
I also think that you picked 2 really great movies both definitely show diversity. Friends with Benefits is a great movie and it really does a good job of portraying the way today's culture is.

This is a response to a post left by Asher Kennedy. I totally agree with him in saying that "being romantic is about spontaneity and being, filled with a passion and curiosity that causes you to do things you normally wouldn't do. I can relate with this because im a man of romance and I like to do a lot of nice things for the women im with, and what sparks me to do a lot of romantic things are that spontaneity and that passion that I feel for that individual.

My favorite film for class
                The two films that I would recommend, that we've seen in class, are Love Jones and Mo Better Blues. Both are inspiring to watch, especially being a black man. Both of these men were educated black men with ambition and perseverance. They were both renaissance black men.  Darius Lovehall, played by Lorenz Tate, was a poet that was writing a novel. Bleek Gilliam, played by Denzel Washington, played jazz music and the blues with his trumpet. Both of these movies relate to the themes of Romance, Love, Sex and Marriage. In these films, both of the men are very smooth and creative toward women. Darius uses his love of poetry to spark Nina’s attention. Bleek uses his love for his trumpet to spark the attention of Clarke. Both of these men struggle in telling these females their true feelings, even though they have such natural and romantic conversations with these women. Both of these men, African-American, are so focused on their passions and succeeding, that it distracts their love life. Darius is caught up with writing this novel, and Bleek with practicing his music. These men have issues giving women there all because of their passions, which affects their future and the possibility of marriage.

-Film I would use for class
            The film that I would recommend for this course is A Thin Line between Love and Hate. The movie is somewhat comical because of the actors in it, such as Martin Lawrence and Bobby Brown. Although it is humorous, it relates to the course very well. The main character Darnell, played by Martin Lawrence, is stuck in his “player” ways. He keeps women around for his benefits, which include sex. He is romantic with all of these women, although it is a game to him. He also tends to be dishonest to these women. He tells them things such as “your the only one I have eyes for” and “I love you”. He and his friends look at females as competition. One woman that he had on his radar was very wealthy and successful. He used her for competition and her wealth. He didn't seem to love her, or want a future with her. It was more of a fantasy that he had of being with a woman that was more successful than he is. When she finds out his true feelings about her, she becomes crazy and dangerous. She threatens to murder him and his true love. He then is caught having to give up his player ways for his true love, because now he also has to save her and prove he can be loyal to her. He’s known and loved this woman all his life, and they match up perfect for each other. This brings the conflict between love and hate. This film works perfect for the themes of romance, love and sex.

-Song I would use for class
                The song that I would recommend for this course is “Sweetest Thing” by Lauryn Hill. This song is very powerful. It describes a love that is only fit for a course like this. This song is extremely romantic. She starts off the song so sensual and fulfilled. “The sweetest thing I've ever known,
Was like the kiss on the collarbone.(Lauryn Hill, “Sweetest Thing”)” She describes their love to be so sensitive and passionate, as a kiss on the collarbone is. In the song she describes her love to be fulfilling. She says, “Makes me argue just to see, how much you're in love with me.(Lauryn Hill, “Sweetest Thing”)” She describes there love to be so strong that even their arguments are passionate. I really like this line because she enjoys the arguing and the negatives of relationships, just for the excitement and thrill of the positive that will result. She knows deep down they are perfect for each other, so the arguing is natural; instead of being a threat to ending the relationship. Then the song becomes a little more sexual. She has a line toward the end that says, “Speaking on my mother's phone, the touching makes me think I'm grown, (you ain't grown).(Lauryn Hill, “Sweetest Thing”)” She describes it in a more innocent way because Lauryn Hill was fairly young at the time. We have all been through this innocent young stage, where you believe your sex life is as passionate as an adults. I think this song is very passionate and fits perfect with themes of romance and love.
 

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